Highest Rated Posts
Thoughts on Death
Backstory: I was discussing with my mother how callous my family can be about the death of a loved one.
Mom: That is true. We are ruthless and efficient if nothing else
Me: it’s the German in us
Mom: Yep. Our motto is ” die already. We got better newer versions of you who could use some furniture”
Medical Possumbilities
I had a CT done today of my stomach. I’m sure it was fine but the patient before me was a possum from the zoo. I have to be the only person in the world that had to wait for a possum to go first for a medical test.
Don’t Worry About Me
Do either of you lovely girls have the energy to pick me up – i arrive on AA#700 at 11:35 pm….if not, don’t worry, i can get in a cab with jack the ripper
love, mamasita
Next Stop…Barstow.
Mom: Just a reminder. Today is your dad’s birthday.
Me: Got it. Thanks mom!
Me: Wait dad was born in May.
Me: It’s March.
Mom: Ok the wheels have finally come off.
Beyonce and Sigg Bottles
Me: can you please, please mail me the sigg bottle I left at your place?
Mom: no way… its mine now. If u liked it then u shld have put a ring on it.
Don’t forget the weed
MOM: Have a good day, Darling!
ME: thanks…
MOM: Oh, and make sure your sister doesn’t forget her weed today.
ME: …
ME: you mean her oboe reed?
MOM: Yes
ME: you wrote “weed”
MOM: Did I? Oops! You know what I mean.
YourFace
Mom: You know, it’s a good thing I don’t have a YourFace account, because then I would be on the internet all day long.
Me: Ummm… MySpace?
Mom: Oh yeah, I guess that’s it.
TSA Troubles
Backstory: I am going on a trip to NYC tomorrow and I asked my mom to buy some tupelo honey for my friend who I am going to visit. AJ is my Aunt Jamie and she’s a germophobe.
AJ packs her underwear in plastic bags so the inspectors don’t get their hands on it. Like her cooch is sterile or something. What the heck.
So how long have you smoked pot???????????//
Interesting picture of you on your my spacepage. So how long have you smoked pot???????????//
Just so you know, potential employers will look to see if you have a myspace page. I’m not sure you’d really want them to see this. Nice URL Address: penis envy………………great
Mom
Tyra Text
tyra says the average woman has 8 sexual partners in a lifetime….yo mamas a ho!
Big Girl Potty!
I’m so proud of you my babygirl. Haven’t been this proud since you pooped in the big girl potty. :)
XOXOXOXOXO
Care Packages
Princess,
I need your list of the stuff you want me to pick up @ the store, so I can send your package.
example….
measuring spoons
cookie sheets
mixing bowls
Condoms? type & size?
Love,
Mom
The Truth Behind Dad’s Itinerary
Backstory: I’m in Spain for a semester abroad and Dad is coming for a visit.
Mom: Daddy flew home last night and spent the night in CT, then left this afternoon for the airport. He is excited about your weekend together. Heard that he rented a car. If my memory is correct, the roads in Spain between Madrid and Grenada can be steep and twisty so if anyone tends to get carsick they should sit in the front. He has your stuff (I hope) but I don’t see it anywhere around the house so that’s a good sign! Love, the Mama
Me: I was a bit curious why his itinerary showed him flying out of JFK. So he just came home for a day?
Mom: Quite frankly, your father came home for a booty call.
Put it on! Put it ALL on!
Me: I never thought I’d see the day when one of the highlights of my weekend would include going to Lowes to buy weatherstripping.
Mom: And I never thought I’d see the day when I could proudly say my daughter is a (weather)stripper.
Mom: Put it on! Put it ALL on!
We Go On, We Live Life
Backstory: My mom died when I was 14. Reading this site has made me realize that though I don’t have a mom, I do, at least, have her sister, who sets me (and my brother) straight about as often as a mom would. She’s currently mad that other, out-of-touch family members have said I haven’t “gotten over” the loss. Anyway, thank you, Post Cards from Yo Momma, for giving me a glimpse into adult mother/daughter relationships.
I just want you to know that I don’t expect to ever get over my sister’s death, and you will never get over your mother’s death. For anyone to tell you “get over it” is foolish. It will always be a significant part of your life, and hopefully, the greatest loss you have to suffer. We go on, we live life, we remember all the good, and we miss her. We won’t get over it, but the pain lessens and we can feel blessed she was in our lives at all. To this day, even your uncle says it was the saddest time of his life!
Hugs to both of you and Happy Holidays……
Auntie
