Black and Blue

I’m not sure if you’ll want to tell your spouses or not, but I just found out that we’re half black.

Also, I accidentally backed my SUV into a light pole.  I probably should’ve checked the damage to my car before I drove here.

Party Like It’s 1912

Backstory: I just moved away from home. Mom sent me this update from my great grandmother’s 100th birthday party so I would feel like I was there.
When gram blew out her candles her teeth came out.

Fashion Transgression > Political Propaganda

Uncle P sent me a propaganda video that was put out by the Catholic Church about voting.  It looks like it was filmed in hell.  Coincidence?  But the aspect that bothers me the most is the woman voter who is wearing socks with her sandals.  If anyone would like to watch let me know.

Top Down, Double Martinis

Backstory: My husband and I sent my recently retired parents on a mini-vacation.
Yesterday we had 2 martinis before 4pm. Is that bad?

We will be tooling around Spring Lake today with top down.  On the car. In case you wondered. xxxx

“Fanny” Was Her Word of Choice

Backstory: My mother sent me this after an audition. I told her that I preferred people telling me to “kick some ass” vs. “break a leg” because once after a show, I actually did break a leg.

I’m glad it was fun!  I think you’d be very abnormal if you weren’t nervous.   I’d likely have to run to the bathroom constantly. Nervous bladder…

I’ll try to remember “kick some ass” for next time.  Funny how vocabularies change.  Grandma used to always yell at me of I used the word “butt.” I can’t imagine the repercussions if I said the word “ass” and wasn’t talking about a donkey.  “Fanny” was her word of choice, but “bottom” and “seater” were also permissible if needed. Actually until adulthood, I always thought she was saying “cedar” and wondered why a butt was a called a type of tree.  I guess Fanny is just as weird though, since some poor women of grandma’s generation actually had that as a first name.  (As a kid, I always thought Fanny Flagg, the actress, had a hilariously unfortunate name.) Isn’t this a fascinating walk through word history?

Hope you’re having a fun weekend!  Hugs, Mambo xoxoxo

The Academy Award for Mothers

Backstory: Mom sent this to my two sisters and me after my sister announced wedding plans that mom doesn’t approve of.
I am pleased to announce that I have received notice by mail today that I have single-handedly won, unanimously, the award for the “Most Evil, Insensitive and Opinionated Mother of the Year”.  I know that you all played a part in the nominating and voting process and wanted to thank you.

No congratulations are necessary, when you’re good, you’re good.  Please don’t send flowers or congratulatory messages the award is more than sufficient along with being totally shut out from the children you pretty much raised as a single parent, not without sacrifice I might add.  I live in the lap of luxury now with no responsibilities for anyone but myself, so life is golden.

As I said a million times when you were evil teenagers, “I don’t always love your behavior, but I always love you.”  It still holds true.

I Guess E.T. Phoned Home

Backstory: My mom sent me a link to this news story: “UFO or Lens Flare in Google Street View? You Decide

I saw something too.  Skulking behind a cloud yesterday.  Same color.  I only see it with sunglasses on.  Don’t mention it.  I guess E.T. phoned home.  It was on TV 2 weekends in a row.  So was an Etch-a-Sketch article on my internet, but I didn’t look at it.

Busy, gotta go.

Mom

Happy Monday, I’m Bloated

I wish you both a great Monday.  I have a few moments to spare before going to the stomach dr. for my bloating and other digestive problems.

Hope that you are both doing well.

Love,

Mom

Definitely Not Cub Scout Appropriate

What are jello shooters? Are they like marshmallow guns? They sound fun and I want to suggest them for your little brother’s cub scout activity.

Word Is…

Backstory: My mom and I play “Draw Something” together. I got a notification that she’d sent me a drawing, followed immediately by this.

Ignore draw something it sent way before I was done. word is booty.


Love, Mom