Truckers Are Like Sailors…
Backstory: My cousin is moving in with a trucker she just met.
let’s just HOPE he is divorced and not just SAYING he is divorced. truckers are like sailors one in every port.
Dad’s Epic Cat Convo
Backstory: Oreo is the 17-year-old cat that owns my parents. And she did indeed send a picture, and it’s Oreo sitting on their bed, wearing her latest big blue post-surgery collar.
Mom: you should hear the discussion dad and oreo are having right now.
we’re in bed and she just came in, went straight to dad’s side of the bed and started talking to him
Me: awwwww
Mom: he replied,’i;m not feeding you anymore tonight.’ and she answered and now they’re going back and forth
Me: how long can they keep this up?
Mom: longer than you’d think! just sent you a pix
Young woman should not drive long distance on highway alone!
Backstory: I e-mailed my mom to tell her I’d be driving 4.5 hours alone to another state because my boyfriend can’t go anymore. I’m 24.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we’ll buy you a plane ticket!
help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
I gotta get off the computer!
Help!
Oh no!
panic attack
young woman should not drive long distance on highway alone!
alert alert!
danger danger!
friend!
buddy! paqrtner!
help!
call [dad]!
[dad] will hep!
danger danger
alert alert!
Halloween History
Backstory: Mom has always been anti-Halloween, but since becoming an empty-nester, she’s loosening up.
Who says I don’t like Halloween? This song is from my generation. 1962. The year of the Seattle World’s Fair (April 21-October 21). Dad and I were in junior high. October 1962 was the month/year of the Cuban blockade. Things were scary. We thought we were going to war with Russia/Cuba. And out came this marvelous song to help release our fears as teens danced to this song and sang it with smiles on their faces. Russia backed down–hooray! We made it to Halloween in one piece. Enjoy this one piece of history, with my love~ Mom
(link to “Monster Mash”)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0thH3qnHTbI
D for Deadbeat
Backstory: I’m going through the process to change my name after marriage, and needed some info on my dad, with whom I don’t speak.
Me: Do you remember Dad’s middle name or initial? I need it for a form and don’t want to email him.
Mom: D
Mom: for Deadbeat
Me: Right.
Mom: J for Jackass
Me: …?
Mom: or Joseph.
Spotted: 52-Year-Old Gossip Girl Addict
Mom: xoxo
Mom: now whenever I write xoxo, which i have done forever, i hear in my head “gossip girl here”
Me: haha i know i always think “you know you love me”
Mom: pretty sad for a 52 year-old
Me: hahahahahaha
Mom: i know i love you — xoxo
Nope, Not Reassuring
Backstory: I was whining to my mom about a guy in my education course who is incapable of giving coherent explanations of his thoughts. We’re both sticklers for grammar, but apparently that’s not her only concern.
And he’s going to be a teacher. Btw, I wonder about your language skills when you use whore instead of whose. Or maybe it’s just that you use that word more often when texting. Nope, that’s not reassuring either.
TURKEYS!!!!
Backstory: My mom’s kind of obsessed with the wild turkeys in our neighborhood, but they hadn’t been coming around much anymore until…
I FOUND THE TURKEYS!!!!
10 OF THEM – DOWN PUNCHBOWL LANE
I was very happy to see them safe and sound
now didn’t that make your day?
I Can See Uranus
Backstory: I sent my mother my insane study guide for Astronomy to demonstrate how ridiculous my midterm would be.
OK, so I see you know everything about astronomy. But answer this big question for me: Is there any way to say Uranus that doesn’t sound raunchy? :) Good luck on the midterm. Love, Mom
Let Them Eat Saltines
Backstory: I dated brothers, years apart and rather unsuccessfully. When it was clear that things weren’t going to work out with brother #2, my mom consoled me with this gem of advice.
Mom: Let them eat saltiness
Mom: Saltines
Me: What do you mean by let them eat sardines?
Mom: Saltines. White bread crackers
Me: I still am not getting it. What do the saltines represent?
Mom: Let them eat cake was wrong but they need commoner food
Mom: They need a bland, non exciting, non high maintenance woman. As Marie Antionette said. Let them eat cake. But I changed it.
