Can’t Talk, Was Jamming
I am so glad we were able to share the Dumptstafunk concert with you both. Sorry I could not talk, was jamming.
Who Needs to Smell Anyway?
Backstory: I sent my mom a travel itinerary and got this reply. She looooooves Zicam but the FDA just advised people to stop using it at risk of losing your sense of smell.
Thanks honey! WOW what fun! Take the Zicam with you anyway (damn the FDA). Grab it TONITE while you can get it!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH – Mommy xxxxxxxooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxx
It’s Like I’m Famous!
Me: Mom you’re number two for the week on post cards from yo momma!
Mom: What’s that?
Me: It’s a website that has funny things mothers send their kids. Yours was a text message!
Mom: I SWEAR THIS WORLD! NOW PEOPLE CAN JUST READ MY TEXT MESSAGES AND POST THEM ON SOME WEBSITE!!! HOW DID THEY READ MY TEXTS?!? HOW DID YOU FIND IT? I’M CALLING OBAMA ABOUT THIS!
Me: …uh I submited the text message…
Mom: oh…I’m number two!? Which message was it? That’s exciting. I’ll have to tell your dad when he gets home! It’s like I’m famous!
Why the Baskets Didn’t Sell
Backstory: My mom had a yard sale. She was talking about her Longaberger baskets not selling.
I meant to tell you that I put $65 on the hamper and then came down to $50 and didn’t get a nibble. I had a little basket of kim’s with $10 on it and no one acted interested in it either. I don’t know if it’s the economy or what but people just didn’t seem to be buying stuff like that. Of course, one of our biggest customers is R– B– and I kept wondering why he hadn’t come by. Then we saw in the paper that he’d been arrested for possession of cocaine.
Love,
Mom
Amsterdam Antics
Hi all,
\we are now in \Amsterdam. we had a great time inBRUSELLS, MUCH TO TELL. NOT WHAT WE EXPECTED, A PLEASANT SURPRISE PLUS OUR SIDE TRIPS WERE AMAZING. THE TRAIN RIDE, FIRST CLASS, WAS SO
MUCH FUN EXCEPT WE ARE LUCKY WE DID NOT GET THROWN OFF. WE AREIN AMSTERDAM AND FOR
ALL THE CHILDREN WE HAVE DECIDED TO SMOKE A DOOBIE (THATS WHAT THEY CALL A JOINT) And
film ourselves every 10 minuetes, it shoud be quite funny. well i will email again.
hope all is well, we are having a great time thus far.
we love you all
Just a Brief Tutorial
Backstory: I sent my mom the youtube link to the trailer of a movie coming out that we had both read the book of -we’ve been looking forward to our first glimpse of the movie for months!
Well hello daughter, Maybe someday when you are visiting you can give me a brief tutorial on how a person over 50 would open/turn on/find the trailer that you think you sent to me. I found about 9 million versions with people’s names under it and a reprimand from my computer to update my Java something and a bunch of unasked for opinions on the trailer. Obviously I did not get to see the trailer yet. Thanks anyway, the Dinosaur (probably a T Rex, your momma)XXOO
Grandpuppies and Gas Lines
YOUNG LADY YOU ARE IN TROUBLE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT A WIMP BUT THE STRONGEST FEMALE IN OUR FAMILY. Now I do agree with Dominic that you shouldn’t mess with a gas line. I would not do anything that could blow me up. Did you have to take apart the porch swing? Ted told me that you could get a replacement awning at Walmart. This is proof that I read your facebook. Kiss my “Grandpuppy” Oliver for me. Did you forget to take the toolbox that Bernie made for you? Did you remember to take the crystal bowl back with you
In Case of Meteor
Backstory: I am a criminal lawyer, and have been since I graduated law school. I got a phone call last week from my mom about preparing a power of attorney.
I asked J to prepare a Springing Power of Attorney for me. That would take effect when a Dr. says I have become incapacitated. Then she could pay my bills, make medical decisions etc. Nothing is wrong with me but just in case the POA would make your lives easier.
When that meteor comes through my roof and I am out of it for three months you will need the POA. LOL
Mom
Have You Seen This Girl?
Missing…
-Freckled Face “almost 21 year old”
-Likes pizza for breakfast
-stays up late and sleeps late
-talented and friendly most of the time
-does not like to be teased. but is a good teaser
PLEASE let us know if you find her-she is supposed to take her brother to a movie and her parents are worried because they have not heard from her in days (she didn’t even call her grandmother on her 80th birthday, July 4th–very unlike her
360-**** or 347-****
ask for Bob or Denise
Mafia Mom Gets Revenge
Backstory: My mom recently discovered Facebook and is addicted to some of the games.
I found out that you can sucker punch people on Mafia. I’ve been punching the shit out of a guy that ripped me off for lots of money
