The Three Question Limit
Any news you care to share on what’s happening in your life? Any thought of getting out here for holidays? How are your eyes? I have now used up my self-imposed three question limit. Here’s hoping for some answers.
Love you. Mom
Her Brains Are Stuck In Her Manolos
Backstory: My mother is Chinese - I think some of these are idioms translated poorly.
Mom: I just can not stand the palin’s big mouth and empty brain.
Me: i know
i’m glad you also think she’s stupid
Mom: If McCain dies, she will be our president? So stupid. Why some people think with their foot?
Me: exactly
don’t expect too much from me tonight
Hi Sarah so u want to come home tonite, I am feeling crappy PMSing, sore back and bum probs! Em says she’ll come get you. don’t expect too much from me tonight xoxo.
Adventures in Skype-ing
me: yes, I can hear you but I can also hear you breathing directly into the mic - LOUD!
mom: but I am not even breathing……!
me: Uhh…….
mom: seriously, I have been holding my breath the entire time
Post-Election Reward
To celebrate Obama’s win and your new TV I bought you some new towels. You can thank me later.
Glorious Day But No Hot Water
Good Morning-’Tis a grand and glorious day in the USA!! Did you have an amazing time last nite? We actually managed to stay up to see the acceptance speech. I wasn’t going to miss it!! I picked up the trib, the sun times and the NY times this morning while I was at Starbucks. Also no hot water. The heater broke last night. We are trying to get it fixed today or tomorrow. We may need to go to the Y for a shower tonight. Talk to you tonight.
Love, Mom
Voting=More Sex
Backstory: I emailed my mom about getting free Starbucks and a free Krispy Kreme when you vote.
How do they know you really voted? Any way I just read that fat women have more sex than skinny women so if you’re in the mood eat a donut! xoxo Mo
The Ultimate (Frickin’) Cheerleader
Hi Babe,
There is a family in the end house and they’re sweet, talkative to the max, but very sweet. The mutants remain 
Yeah, we were sort of expecting the Obama win here…disappointed, but we’ll just have to see how it pans out…there was a big run on the gun stores before the election here (AZ)
[Brother]’s here for now and looking for employment. We’re all trying to keep good attitude and you know that I’m the ultimate (frickin’) cheer leader - by God those guys are going to be cheery!
Love you both tons
mom 
omg tmi
Sorry to hear about your recent bc issues. You know, your father and I used to consider “that time of the month” as our “free sex time of the month.” You know… more mess but no stress?
Wuboo… Mumsers.
Mom’s Voting On A Donkey
Me: I’m registered to vote!
Mom: Yahoo! Barack & I can rest easy now
Me: I will be at the polls on the 4th, but I won’t wear any Obama shirts.
Mom: It would be a neat idea if obama supporters could figure out something to wear that is nondescript but would signify unity in a wink wink sort of way so start something like that okay?
Me: I’ll give Barack a call and see what he thinks
Mom: Great idea! If he’s not available though, maybe you can get up with Joe
Me: I’m sure he can spare a few mins to chat with me
Mom: I would suggest that we wear hawaiian leis in honor of his grandma! Everyone else will think there’s a big luau party that they weren’t invited to
Me: No, I think they’ll just think we look stupid. I suggest wearing blue.
Mom: I’m thinking I’ll ride up on a donkey