No Grandchildren Yet? An American Girl Doll Will Do
Backstory: On a trip to Chicago, my mom took my 20-year-old sister’s American Girl doll to have her gnarled hair re-braided. This woman needs grandchildren, stat!
This evening we took Molly over to the American Girl store to get her hair done – it is a rainy, blustery day in Chicago so we put her in the hotel laundry bag and off we went.
As I walked up to the salon counter, the lady there said, “Oh, has Molly come for a hair style?” Yes, indeed and we also signed her up for the Pampering Plus package (wash and cleaned up!) We were told by the hair stylist that she has seen dolls come in with far worse hair. So Molly felt better.
We were heading out to dinner so checked that Molly could stay for a sleep-over. That is where she is now – having her first American Girl sleep-over.
[A day later, another email arrives]
Molly is back with us and she looks beautiful. She even got bows, a hair clip and stick-on nail decorations. I thought we should celebrate so also got her a set of PJs and housecoat. She is now well-set in the wardrobe department.
Love you, Mom
Love Story
I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
Now get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!
Government Experiment
Me: I seriously think I’m part of a government experiment to see just how much one person can suffer in a 6-month period.
Mom: 6 months??? I signed you up for that experiment over 20 years ago! :-P
Unhappy Girls
Backstory: My sister and I had spent the weekend at our Mom’s and we, apparently, both left a bra there.
mom: Did you both leave your bras here to try to tell me something???? :-)
me: I know. I was bugged when I realized I left my favorite bra. Oh well, the girls will have to be unhappy for a while.
mom: Are the girls your body parts?
When Mom Really Likes the New BF
Backstory: P3 is the nickname my mother has given to my new boyfriend.
Mom: will you see P3?
me: no, he’ll be in NJ on a choir trip
Mom: where? I’ll stalk him
Living in Island Paradise
Backstory: My mom and I are into Island Paradise and she discovered a secret and wanted me to know, too. She and I are in competition for levels.
Okay, cuz you told me about the point thingy and not going for money, but xp points, and I’m ahead of R. by a lot (YAY!!!!) I’ll give you something I discovered. If you buy the old rusty bell, it will keep your goats from being plundered. I know you can lock, but in case you want to do that, you can. I bought one, then hid it behind trees. I didn’t want people to wonder why I bought it. (I also didn’t publish the announcement…that’s just plain stupid!)
Hope your day is going well. I missed you this weekend!!!
Mama
Jort Alert
Backstory: After having to explain to my Spanish boyfriend what ‘jorts’ are, he decided to find the best example he could and post a picture on facebook. This is my mom’s reaction after seeing it.
your mother loves you and that jort picture is amazing… i never want to hear any comments about my hulk hogan culottes again.
Grandma’s Drinking Advice
Backstory: I had a wild night out and fell and hit my head, causing a slight concussion that lasted a week or so. Apparently someone told my 95-year-old grandma.
Sorry to hear you had a fall and slight concussion. Some advice from your grandmother (grandmothers always do this-give advice I mean) Learn to party in moderation. You will have more fun
Like Hot Dog Misses Mustard
Backstory: I hadn’t talked to her in, oh, a couple of hours.
You mad at me/ or just kinda of a poopie head? I wish you would call me, or write. I miss you like coffee misses cream, like a hot dog misses mustard, whenever you eat one, in that weird ketchup way.
