Mom the Stalker

I went over to your apartment and was calling outside and the realtor was showing the apartment below you and she let me in the building at pressed your floor and I left the little blue box outside your door. Then raced back to Lorrie’s apartment to email you, so you wouldn’t get nervous that it was left by a stalker.

Have a great day!

Love, Mom xoxo

Getting Busy

Thanks for taking Jessie back yesterday.  I hope she gave you the money for the car!  I’m beginning to think you don’t want me in your apartment anymore; it seems like every time I say I’m going to hang out there you are too busy.  You aren’t having orgies or anything in there, are you????



Cupcake Liners: Potential Fire Hazard

I don’t know why, but it just popped into my head that it really isn’t the best idea to store your paper cupcake liners in the oven [even when off, you never know]. Please remove them and store with your Tupperware.

Ding dongs

Good morning my little one:

The Fafsa for my part is now complete.  When you have finished your part, then I can get in and print the signature page to mail to them.

I love you — those ding dongs at your new apartment are kind of disorganized – huh?

The seniors were captured

I went shopping the other day and restrained myself from buying stuff for your apartment because if I were you I would want to do it all myself.

However, if there are things you want, or things you want me to watch for on sale, let me know and I will keep my eagle eyes open.

Also, the seniors released tame bunnies in the courtyard–only a few, they have all been captured and are being relocated to a farm.  The seniors were also captured and are being relocated to their parents’ homes for graduation night.

Roommate’s Response

Backstory: “My roommate sent in what her mom wrote to her about us moving in together. I thought I would share what my mom wrote to me.”

Do you really want to go down that road again? I don’t like this idea, you don’t know her well… What if she’s a secret cocaine user…  If you guys don’t get along is she going to flip out on you??? There are so many things that could go wrong here… drugs, promiscuity, anger issues. What if she puts super glue in your shampoo as a joke? Things to think about…

She could stab you while you sleep!

Backstory: I am the youngest of 4 children, my mother was terrified for me to leave home and live on my own. I finally found a roommate and a place we could afford, this was her answer to my email informing her of our plans. The funny part is, we aren’t immigrants…

Grumble,,….grumble,…. You don’t know this girl very well….she could leave you stranded with a lease……she could stab you while you sleep…..she could pour boiling hot coffee on you at breakfast…….valley park??? It floods there!!!! There are bugs there!!!!! They don’t rent to immigrants like you!!!!

Love, Mom