Hi Darling.  Michael Phelps shaves his pits.
M

OMG- you and your brother are the same about Michael P- I am so not tired of watching a possible lifetime achievement- your brother thinks it would be funny if he loses!!!!!!!!!  Mens gymnastics was ok if you were from China-Yes the USA did well considering but that last event on the horse almost lost [...]

Backstory: my sister got a new email address and notified the family of the change.  This was my mom’s response
Is this in connection with your home computer?   I do need my shampoo out of my shower, AVEDA, as I cannot buy it up here.  Just the regular stuff not the purple.  Hey!!!!  How do I [...]

Me: I was sorting through my closet today and I thought it’s kind of funny that I have “vacation clothes” and “date clothes” when I neither date nor vacation.
Mom: Really???  Do you have “work clothes” and “gym clothes” in there too???  HA HAHHA HA HAHA AHAH A.
Me: Not funny
Mom: Sorry, I couldn’t resist

I have concluded after a few experiments that I no longer can drink red wine or my Jack.  I am now getting those headaches that turn into migraines.  Oh well.  Less calories.  AND I have lost 4 pounds.  Down to 166.  I know it is the walking in the pool, Curves and all the fucking [...]

Hi - Sunday night was so nice - thanks again.
Just wondering if you are planning a haircut as we discussed.  If so, you might just want them to kind of clean up the sides and back and leave the top alone - it looked really good on Sunday!  Just a suggestion.
I love your new glasses!
Don’t [...]

I thought you said you weren’t a good candidate for a tattoo because of the way you scar?  I really am opposed to tattoos.  I guess as your Mom I should keep my mouth shut.  But, you can’t wash them off and they are always there and I don’t think they send positive messages or [...]

get this, Avon sells a “butt fixing cream” to brighten and tighten crazy huh, want some??

The wedding and reception are at a country club.  It is a sit down dinner.  So I would say yes, it is fancy, schmancy.  You don’t have to have a hat but M and I have delicate skin and we don’t want to burn.  Plus how many opportunities does one have to wear a hat.  [...]