Outstanding Ancient Aliens

Another show that I stumbled on that is outstanding, is “Ancient Aliens” on the history Channel.  There’s a remote African tribe that has ceremonies surrounding, and astrological instruments that locate this star that has only recently been discovered.
Anyway…..Check it out. God is a fucking Alien bitches!!!!

Don’t judge the show by the host’s hair…..


Act Your Sign

Backstory: The registrars office at my school was not being helpful in my registration process.

Sweetie, you’re a Taurus- it’s time you finally started acting like it and the bitch I raised you to be.  Call me if you need me.

When the Moon is in the Seventh House…

Backstory: My mom is an astrologer.

How are you? Did you have a good weekend? Listen, you have Venus/Mars in a very prominent place in your chart now and, besides making you irresistible to the opp sex and more energetic than usual, it may make you more prone to speeding and accidents. Slow down, don’t rush, be patient. Take care of yourself, ok? I love you.

My Son-In-Law, The Snake

Backstory: My mother decided to send me my Chinese Horoscope for 2009 and check my compatibility with my husband

Yep he’s a snake. Here’s his compatibility with you:

Snake and DOG
Mutual respect and some area of common interest. No large conflicts. Compatible to a good degree. Will cooperate amicably.

But snakes and pigs (me) don’t get along. Especially when they make fun of Obama. Hahaha.

Sarah Palin’s Astrologer?

I will have to check your birth certificate.  I think you were born around dinner time but I am not absolutely sure.  I do know that you arrived as soon as I got to the hospital.  Assume around 7 pm unless I tell you differently.  I thought geneology was a legitimate subject for you to get into but astrology?  Yikes.  Are you going to open up a little shop and read tarot cards?  Perhaps you can get a job as Sarah Palin’s astrologer if she gets elected V.P.  (Remember that Nancy Reagan had an astrologer).

Love, Mom