Ever Wonder Where Your Brothers Came From?

Backstory: I was telling my Mom about how my dog ate a loaf of bread off my kitchen counter.

Mom: Rondy, our old dog, ate my birth control pills, foil and all. Spit out the plastic compact. It was all chewed up. Had to take him to the vet because I thought he was going to die…………embarrassing!
Me: hahaha
Mom: 4 1/2 months before I could get a prescription for more at the Air Force Hospital
Ever wonder why your brothers are 19 months apart?

Some IUD Confusion

Backstory: I recently started a job as a nurse practitioner at a women’s health clinic.

me: I inserted an IUD today!
mom: what’s that?
me: its like the copper one you had after you had [my sister]
mom: oh! you found someone to have sex with?
me: no mom. I put one into someone else at work. crazy..
mom: Ahh.. I thought you got it and I was happy for you.

Contraceptive Bummer

Mom: did u have your appt yet?
Me: yeah it was yesterday… it was fine
Mom: when will u get the results
Me: i’m not sure…they took a pregnancy test, too
Mom: really? Why?
Me: since i’m about to go on birth control
Mom: what do use now
Me: condoms :)
Mom: oh
Mom: what a mood killer

Sis in the Family Way

Me:  the younger sister is pregnant?

Mom:  yes.

Me:  why didnt she use birth control like meee?  haaha

Mom:  oh my god

Love, Mom