Backstory: I was whining to my mom about feeling neglected by my boyfriend(who I live with) who is an accountant and obviously quite busy this time of year. I am an only child.  My mom is the oldest of three. We sometimes have a hard time understanding each other because of this.

Mom: IT IS TIME TO GROW UP AND ADJUST TO THE KIND OF BUSINESS HE IS IN. HE ALSO IS PROBABLY PRE-OCCUPIED AND NOT LISTENING BECAUSE HE HAS SO MUCH ON HIS MIND. LEFT BRAINED PEOPLE ARE NOT WELL ADJUSTED PEOPLE. THEY CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME.

Me: LOL You’re right.

Mom: ACCOUNTANTS ARE DULL AND BORING PEOPLE. YOU HAVE BEEN THE CENTER OF ATTENTION FOR A LONG TIME. PUT ON YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES AND GET OVER IT.I WAS NEVER THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. BIRTH ORDER!!!!

Backstory: I recently stumbled on a birth order website, and noticed how accurate it was for me and my sisters. I felt the need to share it with our mother.
Me: you there
Mom: hi skank-a-sour
Me: hi..read this: birthorderandpersonality.com
its sooo accurate
Mom: omg so true. weaknesses are dead on!
tend to be selfish with possesions and attention.
Me: wow. did you learn to copy and paste?
Mom: yes i did and i love it
Me: Famous first born children: Walter Conkrite, Dan Rather….F Ya!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: u r A NERD
Me: come on these men are my heros