Be a Cougar

Me: I just passed an actor from Gossip Girl walking down Bedford Ave. I give up!
Mom: Were you in the scene?  Was he cute?
Me: Haha no, he just hangs out here!  And yes he is adorable and at least 5 years younger than me.
Mom: Be a cougar

Nice Mug Shot

Did you put soap in laundry? I wouldn’t say this on fb but your pic looks kinda like lindsey lohan mug shot

Leo’s Titanic Secret

Leonardo DiCaprio is a hermaphrodite. He just looks like one of those children that could have gone either way.

Memorializing Les Paul

it’s okay, someday when you come over, we will have a cocktail and just play les [paul] and mary ford and sing along with them.   first karen carpenter, who used his technique in the most beautiful way, and now les.  oh, boy.

pretty soon we’ll lose marilyn manson.  i simply can’t do this anymore.  love, kisses, and guitar strings…ma.

Lady Who?

Sorry to bother you, but could you tell us who lady gaga is?

Michael Jackson Funeral: The Analysis

Backstory: My mom is secretly obsessed with Michael Jackson and also is fascinated by twitter but refuses to get one because she doesn’t know what she would tweet about.

Mom: I’m watching the Michelle Jackson memorial on tv. It’s very nice but also sad.

Me: oh I’m in class I can’t watch it

mom: Im sure they will replay it. I keep remembering the teenaged mj. He was so cute, but had so many issues.

Me: are the perormances good?

Mom: They have been very nice. Lionel richey and marìah carey were both near tears. I wasn.t sure if they could finish. It has had several songs about jesus.

Mom: His little girl just said he was the best daddy ever. Special on him tonight on abc. I wont bother you anymore.

Me: no I like your updates.

Mom: just like Twitter!

Michael Jackson and Menopause Brain

Me: LA Times just confirmed the King of Pop died… :(
Mom: It’s so sad and shocking. I know he was weird but I still remember him as a kid and then in his 20s when he was at the top. Awesome then.
Me: I know. You should make R [my brother] do the moonwalk in rememberance. He’s so good at it!
Mom: I didn’t know that!
Me: What?! He used to always do it when we were kids!!
Mom: There goes my menopause brain again

Batman’s Running For Office

love you…did I tell you Val Kilmer wants to be the governor of New Mexico…..he is fat….

Crazy Eye Cruise

Nanci and I took the girls to the game tonight, they are sooo cute and fun, I wish I had the energy to have more. Thats up to you girls now. I hear Tom Cruise was in your town recently keep your crazy eye out for him. Love ya and talk to you soon.

Celebrity Baby News

I saw in the paper that some guy in a band and his skanky wife had a kid.

They named the kid Bronx Mowgli no shit. Try to top that one……………

Jerry Lewis, Fleas.

The Wedding videos are great.  Dad enjoyed watching his monolog – he said he didn’t realize he looked so much like Jerry Lewis.

Dad gave the dog a bath – said he didn’t see any fleas, but I used the flea stuff this morning.  The reason the spray didn’t work is because it’s for cats – he says it was in the dog aisle and there’s no difference between the 2 species – I told him “just about 60 pounds” , skin type and fur- but I don’t think he was convinced – even – why do they have different kinds of food didn’t do it, so I just shrugged!!!


Summer in London

Did you know that Dr. Macdreamy is filming a movie in London?  So I would love his autograph.  love, Mom

Timbaland Goes Back to High School

Well, I just got back from an assembly with Timbaland, known as Tim Mosely when he was a Salem High student in the 90′s. He did not really sing, but did some beat-box (I guess) kind of thing and some of his music played during different parts and at the end. He talked mostly and the kids were just going crazy — a good crazy! Anyway, thought I would share what was an otherwise boring morning.

Bye and love,
Love, Mom

Distant Relatives

hi girls,
you HAVE to get “I am David” on netflix. we just watched it and it is one of the best movies i have seen this year. first of all, jim caviezel is in it and i know he is related to us. he looks just like my brothers and your nana’s maiden name was cavazel which her father changed from cavietzel. so we have to be related to him, he just looks so much like us. anyway you would both love the story, it is great!


Jessica Simpson’s Salad

Hi Punkin,

I heard this yesterday on the radio that she eats this everyday while she is trying to loose weight.

2 chopped Asian pears
10 sliced strawberries
1 cup of grilled chicken breast cut into strips
10 romaine lettuce leaves, chopped
small handful of croutons

Mix them with a dressing made up of 2 tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar, 1 egg yolk & 1 tsp dijon mustard, with salt & pepper to taste.

Sounds good except for the egg yolk. I think I will make this without the egg yolk.

If you want to try I will get you olive oil, balsamic vegar and dijon mustard. The rest you would need to get. I could buy you croutons.
I think it would be kinda fun to make my own croutons. What do u think?


Love, Mom