That’s Not My Name!

Backstory: We checked my birth certificate, I was right- it’s “Claire”.

Mom: Clare- Take out trash and empty dishwasher
Me: Wow, the person who named me doesn’t know how to spell my name, what a joke. I believe my birth certificate says “Claire”, I also believe I have been spelling my name “Claire” for the last 17 years.
Mom: Actually I believe your birth certificate says “Clare”…. so are you going to take out the trash and empty the dishwasher?
Me: You’re kidding, right?
Mom: No… now go take out the trash!

The Lawn Whisperer

Mom: I can hear the lawn calling out–begging to me mowed

Me: Oh really?  That’s weird  I don’t hear anything

Mom: Listen closer



Love, Mom