Happy (?) Maundy Thursday!

mom: Tomorrow is Maundy Thursday.
me: what happens on maundy thursday?
mom: that is when Christ does the last supper and it is the foot washing with Mary Magdalen
me: oooooh
me: so we celebrate by washing peoples feet?
mom: well on Maundy Thursday we do. showing that we are not above other people, as Jesus did to the whore so do we to those beneath us. or did she wash his feet and he let her touch him… ?
mom: such an uptight religion
me:  omg i love you

How to Save Your Marriage

Backstory: My parents are getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage, and word has gotten back to a certain Great-Aunt who has always had a fondness for sending us Bibles and other unsolicited Christian literature. Up to this point, my mom tactfully stays quiet about the religious stuff, but she gets kinda fierce when anyone tries to tell her how to handle the end of her marriage.

For Christmas, your great-Aunt F sent me a postcard wishing me success in the reconciliation of my marriage.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, she sent me a DVD about saving my marriage the Christian way. She said “Even though I am a Christian, I’m not trying to convert you. I accept that you are not a Christian, but I hope you’ll find this helpful.”

I’m gonna write her back- “Even though I am a sinner, I’m not trying to convert you. I accept that you’re not a sinner, but I hope you’ll find this helpful.”

The note will be attached to a vibrator.

Love, Mom