Yay! Congratulations on your first extermination experience. I am so happy to know that your college years will be filled with memorable times like these. Remember these words of wisdom from your mother……A dead roach is a good roach!
Now about that sponge. This is one of those times I like to say, “what the @&*!” [...]

SUNY in the 70’s ditched their name “Colonials” and the newspaper name, “Colonial”.  the newspaper is the pipe dream (of course).  i think you already know this.  And the reason was just that - imperialism.
SAVE THE HIPPO!
love, mom

I can see that you have been outbid on a Lacoste Jacket, and have a bid in for a slim skinny jumper.
My money is not yours, so is it really OK, ask yourself?   You have bought on ebay a teeshirt and jacket (the duck one), which would have fitted the average toddler, so it seems [...]

i can’t wait!!!!!   let me know when we should buy the football game tickets.
maybe dad can go to the football game and we can go to the atrium mall!

Mom: yes, your little sister’s new college roomie seems nice. she’s from a large catholic family in minnesota, so you don’t need to worry about her getting into all that ‘goth stuff’.

Be careful! PENILE warts are rampant on college campuses.
Just thought you should know.
Love,
Mom