Backstory: I am recently divorced and mom and I have talked a lot lately about me moving to another city. We talked last week about the possibility of Austin.

Heard on the news today Austin, Tx has the highest condom purchases in the country? Must be a sign. Mommy Dearest.

Backstory: My parents are hoping to sell their house in a few months and are cleaning furiously before listing it on the market.

I found a box of high school stuff of yours. As much as want to be a grandmother, I wouldn’t suggest using those old condoms…

hey i was thinking of sending your brother a care package. Do you think he would like girl scout cookies, teeth whitening trays and condoms or is that too weird?

Backstory: For halloween I cut off the toe part of some black striped tights to make them into arm warmers and one of them ended up on the floor in my room.

Um…
I’ve never seen one, so I don’t know what one looks like, but I found this black nylon THING on your bedroom floor.  Is it a condom?!

i just saw this commercial for Trojan Ecstasy condoms.  The woman goes to the counter and says it feels like there’s nothing on.  Apparently, they are lubed on both sides.  Worth a try I say.