Camel Toe Explained

Mom: I asked Dad what camel toe was and he explained it to me. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THAT AT THE DINNER TABLE!

Me: Mom, I told you what it meant and you laughed.

Mom: YES, BUT I DIDN’T GET IT! I just didn’t want to look stupid!

I thought a Hummer was a big car

I was sitting at the airport tonight, waiting to pick up your Aunt, and I saw a car with a bumper sticker I didn’t understand. I wrote it down so I could ask you. It said, “if I wanted a Hummer, I would have married your sister.” What does that mean? I thought a Hummer was a big car. I asked your Aunt and she didn’t understand it either. Can you enlighten us?

Is There a Special Number?

If I want to send someone a text message, do I have to have a special number? Or can I just send it to their regular phone number?

Things That Make Mom Go…

me: hmm
mom: what does that mean?
me: that means
me: read it
me: hmm
mom: what are you trying to say?
me: oh my god. like, i am hmming.

Love, Mom