Hi sweetie:
Dad had to go to the VA today, because of a pain in his…ahem…groin area, wtih burning sensation that he said was like having hot sauce on him. (interesting way to put it,don’t you think ?).  Anyways, he just called, and he has a rupture, and they are scheduling surgery in the next month [...]

Backstory: My dad is a high school principal.  The band kids got new t-shirts.

Hello Love,
Your father and I just watched American Pie.  We now know what “this one time at band camp…” means.  Now your dad is going to have to tell those band girls they are not allowed to wear those shirts.  Why didn’t [...]

I am spending the day rotating fresh bags of frozen peas on your Dad’s recent eye surgery (the lid).  The valium makes him hallucinate.  It’s almost too much fun.  He should be a lot better by tomorrow.
Our WOW cable was out yesterday so we watched the original “The 39 Steps” (Hitchcock 1935).  Still fun.

Your Dad is playing outside with Dan & that boat motor. (His elbow seems some better & is black & blue; so he must have bruised it & didn’t notice it.  It still looks like a hanging udder, but I have enough flapping around myself in the upper under arm area!  Maybe we are just [...]

When you get a chance, ask your dad about how he almost killed Al Gore.  It’s a good story.
-Mom

i can’t wait!!!!!   let me know when we should buy the football game tickets.
maybe dad can go to the football game and we can go to the atrium mall!

Well, your father left the house early this morning to go crabbing at high tide… and returned about 30 minutes later…. As I told him he didn’t give the crabs a chance…

Hey guys, just accept my myspace invite for playing mafia wars. It will let me try to beat the crap out of daddy if you join my mafia family. You don’t really have to do anything, I don’t think but you might get killed off of my family if you don’t play too. It really [...]

Got it!  Good photo!   Did the studio send out the buffet  for you?!!  Is that a hotdog/cigarette/donut you’re eating?!!    Who is the young lady in front of you?
I really must know what you have in your mouth.  Dad is curious, too.
Please reply immediately.  Love, Mom

Mom: So how did it go with the tax man and the internet people and the plumber?
Me: Umm, I didn’t make it, I don’t understand it and I delayed it, respectively.
Mom: Please try to get by on your pretty face for as long as you can, darling, because … well … because I think that’s [...]

Mom: i was so mad @ dad cause he had a swearing meltdown in the car; he dropped me off @ pig to get a few things & he went to get coffee.  when i was done (it was slow cause they had no cashier so the checker didn’t know what she was doing, but [...]

This is a weird question, but does your boyfriend get hookers trying to be his “friend” on MYSPACE? Dad had 2 this week and it’s annoying me. I don’t know how they are finding him.
I shouldn’t be writing. I’m not in a very good mood.
Write back when you have time. LOve you.

Hi dear…..3.08pm here.
We are just back from shopping, during which your dad bought his birthday prezzie from you.
He is delighted with it!
I have it hidden, as usual, and will drag it out on the appointed day.
It’s very nice.
Cost is 49.99 plus GST and PST which, here in the centre of the universe is 7%.  So [...]

Hey, Did you take the gin….Dad was looking for it this afternoon.
Love and Prayers
MOM

Mom: We’re booked for Father’s Day lunch at noon. Leaving for casino by 11:30. Love you !
Me: oky doky! I’ll have to remember to bring my ID. Last time the wouldn’t let me in!
Mom: I remember that ! I wish someone would ask me !! Of course I’d haave to [...]

Hi Jim! I did a lot of returning today. Was successful except for Celine Dion perfume. A receipt is mandatory. Guess I’ll give that to Rita for her 60th next August. Dad and I are going to Rob Roy Beauty school tonight for Dad’s haircut and my manicure. Then we’ll go to Barbara’s Place for [...]

Hi babies,
I am a little bit frightened about what is happening with daddy.  He and your sister are watching….not once, but twice a day,…… the GILMORE GIRLS.
and if that isnt bad enough, I just walked by the playroom and daddy wanted to know why she said they were getting married in 2 weeks werent they [...]

Hi,
Well we finally got the bed back together, and it looks like the idea Marty had is going to work. I will let you know if we land on the floor tonight. LOL
Dad’s stiff neck is feeling a little better. Yesterday I had to drive because he couldn’t turn it to see traffic. [...]

dad needs you’re account and routing number, you’re odometer reading and some other things.  we also need you’re address.
what’s going on?

Saturday, Went to a basketball game w/ dad, his friend and his girlfriends kids.. Total 4 kids ages 8-10. They were so loud and smelled like sour milk and spoiled juice boxes.. yuk!  Dad did not tell me there would be kids involved. Worst, we rode in one vehicle w/ them and it was nightmare.. [...]