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Here at Postcards some of our favorite entries have been from moms reentering the dating world. The website momversation asks the excellent question: When should your kids meet your new man? We would love to hear about all your experiences in the comments–both from moms who are dating and the kids who have met new boyfriends. Just think, it couldn’t be much worse than if your mom brought home this guy. [Momversation]
Backstory: I was on a dinner date and texted my mother while he was in the bathroom.
Me: He is such a good door opener.
Mom: Tati
Me: Tati??
Mom: Yay!!!
Me: Oh
Mom: Bahahahahahaha
Me: Hahahahahahah you are a silly ho
Me: And we are at a fancy restaraunt!!!
Mom: Does he know you’re texting?
Mom: Use your napkin
Backstory: My father died 12 years ago and my mom never dated after his death.
Thought you would get a kick out of this – I sold a house last October to a young girl – her father talked to me a year or so ago and thought I was a good agent – so they came to me and I helped them – make a long story short – I thought he liked me and he took me out to dinner and lunch a couple times – just very friendly – I like him as a friend – I talked to his daughter tonight who asked me if I had good gaydar – daddy’s gay – I kind of thought he was sort of effenimate – a visiting nurse – but again, to make a long story short – THE ONLY MAN WHO HAS EVER ASKED ME OUT TO LUNCH OR DINNER IS GAY!!!
Me: Soooo….the boy that I met through Sara…ya know – remember? I’ve been talking to him a little and I think I kinda like him. We’re hanging out next week.
Mom: YAY! Is ‘hanging out’ a new phrase for going out on a date?
Me: Yeah….. “hanging out” is what guys say now for everything…
Mom: SOOOOO glad I’m not 25! SOOOOO glad!
Backstory: Bringing a new guy home for the weekend. Mom is unsure, considering my long history of questionable companions.
Maybe you should see someone to find out why you think you need to be with loosers. Does it stem from something from your childhood? We loved you so much and tried to protect you by not letting you do much, I hope it’s not from that
Backstory: My cousin is moving in with a trucker she just met.
let’s just HOPE he is divorced and not just SAYING he is divorced. truckers are like sailors one in every port.
Backstory: I dated brothers, years apart and rather unsuccessfully. When it was clear that things weren’t going to work out with brother #2, my mom consoled me with this gem of advice.
Mom: Let them eat saltiness
Mom: Saltines
Me: What do you mean by let them eat sardines?
Mom: Saltines. White bread crackers
Me: I still am not getting it. What do the saltines represent?
Mom: Let them eat cake was wrong but they need commoner food
Mom: They need a bland, non exciting, non high maintenance woman. As Marie Antionette said. Let them eat cake. But I changed it.
Backstory: I went to a Jewish speed dating event and went out with a couple guys as a result, but told my mom I didn’t think I was interested. We had a day-long email debate about whether I should give one of them another chance, and when I finally gave in and said i’d try a second date, she sent me this.
Is there any chance you can go somewhere besides a bar? Where does he live? Would he be interested in the opera? What about a concert? Could you run around the park together?
Is it up to him to propose a venue for the next date?
Have you Googled him? Maybe you can find out something you have in common.
So go out there and make a new friend out of this guy and be open and non-judgmental when it comes to his shoes. Your outfit sounds absolutely perfect.
XXOO
MA
Backstory: My mom is considering dating a 50yr old…she is 53. S is a good friend of her who is about 10yrs younger.
Mom: so i asked your sister, if i date this guy does that make me a cougar?
Me: Are you serious? NO, its 3yrs diff. I can’t believe you even know what a cougar is! Did S teach you that?
Mom: noone taught me i just no. its people my people u know like ladies my age”
Backstory: I recently started writing a new blog about the horrors of dating after 30, and this was my mother’s response.
Dear Daughter,
I read your dating blog, oh my oh my … but I’ve been thinking J, you’ve got to find a way to access a different crowd, more cerebral, sophisticated men, who will appreciate you! In the way of dating and dieting I send you the attached article about colon cleansing. There is so much on the internet, I’ve been tempted. Love, Mom
Backstory: I was going out on a date with a new guy, and I texted my mom to tell her he picked me up in a Bentley.
I hope he isn’t a pimp trying to get you to work for him. Please don’t do it, even though you are poor!
Backstory: My mom recently went on a date after a LONG drought. She is JUST getting into text messaging, but hasn’t quite figured it out.
Me: Yay! Did you like him? Thinking of you while drinking a Corona.
Mom: Yesheisveryhandsome
Me: Awesome. You totally invited him over, didn’t you? :)
Mom: Noiamnotafluzzy
Me: Hahaha! The GOAL is to be a little fluzzy now and then!
Mom: Notitisnotbythewaywhereisthespace
Me: It’s probably the zero key.
Mom: okloveyoubesafe
Me: No we won’t. Going home with rusty and bigdog-not sure where we are. :)
Mom: Callyourdadnodont
Backstory: the TA in question was my constitutional law TA, whom I asked out on a date once the course was over.
me: im having coffee with my TA today!
mom: yeah baby. who’s your momma? (just kidding) SEND DETAILS
me: of course, i’m going to wear a pushup bra
mom: just make sure you don’t rub up against the constitution…young lady
unless he rubs back
then again probably gay
Me: i have a date tonight
Mom: just be careful out there
Me: MOM, he’s fine. I’ve talked to him and he seems really cool. I’ll probably fuck it up anyway
Mom: Oh, don’t say that. Just smile…and don’t talk
Backstory: I recently had a break up,and I have had MANY (weird) men take interest in me. This was dear mom’s response.
creepy hat guy may be 50’s! I think you should get sugar daddies in every age group, starting with 20’s and go up to 50’s. 60 is creepy. but having 4 generations of suitors may be fun. Go out 4 nights a week , start the week with the youngest and end the week with the oldest and 3 nights dedicate to you and the cat!
Also, do you remember my story about O., the cookie guy who blew on my neck at that event a few years ago? (He commented on my ‘thick’ hair, and wondered if my neck was hot…..yuccch) Well, he was there last night, giving me strange looks. I gave him the fish eye. What a creep.
I really think you need to meet a guy who earns a lot of money. I’m not trying to be like the mother from Titanic – “What do you want me to SEW for the rest of my life?!”, I just think you’d be happier.
Backstory: I was getting ready to go on my first date after a rough break up, and was talking to a couple of different guys.
Just wanted to bless your sweet heart……you don’t have to play the game.
BTW, what are you thinking about dating 2 men? Let me know, cause girls used to do it all the time back in my day.
I love you.
me: I have a date saturday :)
mom: with brian?
me: yeah bryan :) he’s so nice
mom: you know the 90 day rule?
me: 90 day rule?
mom: yeah no major physical stuff and no major baring of the soul. it was on oprah hahahah. men need time and women need to hold them off haahah
me: ok mom.
mom: some book called act like a lady and think like a man
me: ok I’ll think like a man just for you
