Backstory: I was going out on a date with a new guy, and I texted my mom to tell her he picked me up in a Bentley.

I hope he isn’t a pimp trying to get you to work for him. Please don’t do it, even though you are poor!

Backstory: I recently had a break up,and I have had MANY (weird) men take interest in me. This was dear mom’s response.

creepy hat guy may be 50′s!  I think you should get sugar daddies in every age group, starting with 20′s and go up to 50′s. 60 is creepy.  but having 4 generations of suitors may be fun.  Go out 4 nights a week , start the week with the youngest and end the week with the oldest and 3 nights dedicate to you and the cat!

Also, do you remember my story about O., the cookie guy who blew on my neck at that event a few years ago? (He commented on my ‘thick’ hair, and wondered if my neck was hot…..yuccch) Well, he was there last night, giving me strange looks. I gave him the fish eye. What a creep.

I really think you need to meet a guy who earns a lot of money. I’m not trying to be like the mother from Titanic – “What do you want me to SEW for the rest of my life?!”, I just think you’d be happier.

Backstory: I was getting ready to go on my first date after a rough break up, and was talking to a couple of different guys.

Just wanted to bless your sweet heart……you don’t have to play the game.
BTW, what are you thinking about dating 2 men? Let me know, cause girls used to do it all the time back in my day.
I love you.

Have date tonight, want to make sure I didn’t have my “beer goggles ” on that or he doesn’t wear gold chains or something…..  You know, I have not married for money YET….Kidding

If I run off, it will not be with a man I met in a chat room. Do they still have those,,, it will be with an Electrolux salesman that sells state of the art kitchen appliances. Love, Mom

Hey honey! I’m at the airport and there is a whole team of UCLA basketball players. How serious are you about your boyfriend? I know you like chocolate.

All men are shitheads. It’s just the degree of shitheadness that separates one from the other.

Hi Daughters:

Please forward any family pics you have that make me look like a good Mama. I need them for Match.com!

Meggers: especially last years bowling bonanza when I was buff.

Thanks girls. Mama is doing her best to find you a new Daddy before Christmas.

XOXO

PS.
(I crack myself up)

Backstory: My mom, on the guy she just started dating.

Ok, i look forward to talking tomorrow.  the link is below, remember, he didn’t do the website, just paid someone to.  he is a little older now than the pics, but i think still a cutie pie.  he is jewish and has the jewish fro a little, i thought you would appreciate that.  oh yea, his father, when alive, was a teacher and a communist!

love you,
mommie

A few years younger-no big deal- you thought he was older when you met him so he must have a little maturity.  If you like him, then go out with him.  Have fun.  You need it.   I love you

Now, back to me,  I am thinking about going out with someone younger-a lot younger-I am not sure of his age.     So, your momma is a dirty old lady