Backstory: I am getting married in 20 days, and my Mom is DIYing her little heart out. The current craft is putting together photo frames with the photos from our relatives’ weddings. Mom wanted to use plastic frames, and I told her not to bother, that I’d take care of it. This was her response.

ok, so what would you like? Surely I have more time to futz than you? Give me clear instructions, mein general, and i’m off and running, glue gun in hand.

I was using the glue gun yesterday and your dad about plotzed. “Where did you get that? Did you buy that just for the wedding?” As if. I only bought the paper cutter for the wedding. Your insane mom

I wanted to give you your laugh for the day….this a.m. I grabbed a pair of more “control” type undies to throw on under my capris. I was much distressed to find that the blasted things came way up the middle of my back! So, I took them off and started chopping them apart with my scissors! It was hysterical. I kept thinking of mom’s old saying “make sure you don’t wear holey underwear when you go out for fear of an accident.” Crap, heaven forbid if someone saw me in them as they’d think I lost my mind!:>0 Guess among other things, we need to start designing underwear for real women!!! Considering that almost all pants are low cut, why they can’t make low slung control panties I haven’t a clue.