The Twilight Apocalypse

A vampire bit me on the calf so then I was a vampire too and I thought to myself. What are we going to do when everyone is a vampire?
The End

Dream Investigator

OK. So I have a recurring dream that I can pull some of my bottom teeth out and then put them back in. So, last night when that thought came in my head as I was dreaming, I remember thinking, oh yeah, that only happens in dreams. Let me check it out. So I did, pulled one of my bottom teeth out and put it back…always worried that it won’t stay in though.

Weird.

XXX,

Mom

There Was a Lot of Paperwork Involved

I dreamt that you had a pet goat, and when I cam to visit you wanted me to get rid of it. There was a lot of paperwork involved. It’s name was Danielle.

Love you,
Mommy

Dreaming in “Mad Men”

Mom: You sounded awful this morning
Me: i had a horrible dream last night
Mom: So did I
Me: i had a dream you were cheating on dad with roger sterling from “mad men”
Mom: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom: Don’t tell Dad!
Mom: you mistook me for Joan
Mom: I should be so lucky

Her Freezers Were Packed with Salami

Hello Sweetness,

Had a good sleep, woke up a bit early.

Had an interesting dream of flooding, electrical outages and race riots where you and I were staying at a B&B on some island owned and run by Joy Bayhart (the loud one on The View). I took over cooking, although her freezers were primarily packed with salami.

XOXO
Mom

She’s a special girl…

mom: hey I had a dream about you in Greece
me: haha really, what happened?
mom: I dreamed I was a designer, kind of like Versace and I designed a perfume for you
me: hahahah
mom: it had a jingle and went like this “She’s a special girl..”
I was singing it in my dream
it had a name
mom: “Biatch”
me: WHAT?
mom: ya the name of the perfume was “Biatch”
mom: I swear
mom: ha ha it was so funny I woke up still singing the jingle in my head

Dreaming of Sarah Palin

I meant to tell you, I had the Sarah Palin sex dream again last night. I frighten myself. Perhaps I must clean my mind out with bleach.

Love mummy xxx

Dreaming of Armpit Hair and Hearing From You

Hi there ….

I thought you might appreciate this dream I had last night …. I dreamt that my armpit hair was all the way down my sides and it was black. Isn’t that sick?? ewwww I don’t know why I dreamed that.

Ok … well I hope you had a good night. Did you happen to mention to M about P’s ring? Just wondering.

We can look for vacuums later this week. Will you go with me to Eastern Market Saturday morning to buy flowers? Remember I’m making cupcakes for you!!!!!

Well your never online anymore for me to talk to you and you never answer my texts.

Love,

Mom (De) but you can call me MOM

Don’t Worry, My Wallaby Pinned Them Down

I had the worst dream last night. I was a teenager but the bedroom was my current one. Two men came in during the night and were taking things. My pet wallaby pinned them down as I called 911, but the call wouldn’t go thru. Two black Labs hid under the bed. I had a stepfather who came in and said the men were his friends and it was a game. What would Freud think of that?

All the Latest Appliances AND Tan Pants!

Backstory: more details about mom’s “all very real” dream she had the other night.
Mom: I forgot to tell you what your fiancee was wearing. He had tan pants on with an off white shirt that had a tiny red stripes going both ways. Like a plaid but with just 2 colors. Where is that guy? I could tell he was going to be good to you for the rest of your life.
Me: You’ve painted a very nice picture. I’d like to step into it. (But he could use some help with is wardrobe. It sounds like you picked him out of the JC Penny Catalog.)
Mom: Yes. Grammie would love to help plan the wedding. Oh she would be so excited. And the In-laws were so nice in the dream. All very real.

All the Latest Appliances!!!

You are a beautiful blond!
Last night I dreamed you were engaged. I can describe your fiance to you. He built a fantastic house for you. It was completely stocked with new furniture. The kitchen was filled with all of the latest appliances. Now you just have to find him. The fellow in my dream adored you and so did his family. This dream was so realistic I could describe what the people looked like and the house. Mom

SO your whorney

me: i dreamt that i was making out with jim halpert last night
mom: SO your whorney
(3 minute pause)
mom: i had the same dream
i think it’s the way he kisses pam
me: you did not have the same dream
mom: not last night…but in the past
i sware… i didnt want to wake up

Brake Pad Premonition

I know this is totally off topic, but I had a dream last night. When was the last time you had your brakes checked on your car??

Much love always, mom

Like A Virgin?

I HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM LAST NIGHT, I DREAMED I WAS IN EUROPE AT A SPA WITH MADONNA AND WE WERE HANGING OUT LIKE WE WERE BFF’S. ANYWAY BEFORE YOU COULD GO THRU THE SPA YOU HAD TO HAVE ALL YOUR BODY HAIR REMOVED BY THESE LITTLE BOYS. SO I WASN’T HAVING ANY OF IT. IT WAS SO WEIRD. AND THESE PEOPLE DIDN’T SEEM TO KNOW WHO MADONNA WAS SO WE STARTED SINGING “LIKE A VIRGIN.” AND THEN MY ALARM WENT OFF.

Ambien Erotica

Mom: apparently the sleep aids activate your subconscious
Me: yeah, it was nice because i was asleep by 9:15 and woke up at 8
Mom: feeling exhausted
Me: yes
Me: and hot and sweaty
Mom: ewww…
Mom: you should only wake up hot & sweaty after a nice erotic dream

how was I?

Me: good morning! just wanted to tell you i had a dream you went to clown college.

Mom: Sometimes nursing school was like clown college. Did I graduate?

Me: i swear i think the hospital was sponsoring you! you did.
we all went and saw your final performance.

Mom: Well don’t keep me guessing, how was I?

Dreaming of You

Hi honey!  I was thinking about you. Actually I had a dream about you last night. Kind of strange. I dreamt that you had a cavity on your left canine tooth. Is everything ok with your teeth? I know strange. I love you!
Love , Mom

Last night’s dream

all excellent points and for the record, you can always make me cry.  Ok, well, admittedly I am PMS (TMI I’m sure), but regardless, ya still can make me cry!

I dreamed last night that Bob and I came to Chicago, you were having a party, and it was all these ‘old’ people, I think you were trying to make us comfortable by having these old people, but we were offended, we wanted the fun ones! haha

love ya much!



Love, Mom