Am I Compatible With Dad?

Backstory: this was after being married for 35 years.

Hey, I just signed your father and I up for Eharmony, apparently they have a computer that pairs you up if you’re compatible and i want to find out what it thinks.

“Free Communication Weekend”

Backstory: My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years. My mom feels he’s an underachiever. My mom feels that even IF he did propose, he wouldn’t be able to give me the life that “I” (read: she) would want. Also, my 30th birthday is in mere days and this to her renders me a lukewarm commodity in the dating sphere.

Mom: Hey, I just heard it’s “free communication weekend” on eHarmony. Just saying…
Me: uh…I’m not single. Isn’t that like false advertising?
Mom: Can you say “it’s complicated” like on Facebook?
Me: Uh… I don’t think so… I think if you’re on that site, it’s pretty much like you’re single and looking for a date.
mom: Well, he said you could start looking if he didn’t propose by June, and next weekend will be July;-)
Me: true… but I have a problem with looking while we’re still together.
Mom: Ok, I just thought “free weekend”.

Love, Mom