Where Misdirected Emails Go to Die

Is your correct school email address [ ]AT[ ].edu? I have it in several different formats. I hope all of the shit I send to that account hasn’t gone to Neverland.

Technology Success… and Fail

Just wanted you to know, I added the printer myself.  Went to HP and found the driver and installed it.  I can be pretty smart when I want to be.  hahaha!  Love you.  Mom

Backstory: I have a really great email address that I’ve had for years – it’s just my first name at mac.com. The only problem with it is I get this kind of email fairly often. Unfortunately, this isn’t my Mom. She figured out how to setup her printer, but she doesn’t know her kid’s email address.

Gaping Nasty Yaps

Backstory: My mom uses free internet email, but complains constantly about the yellow teeth ads. She also thinks that I somehow possess the power to turn them off.

how do I get rid of these sickening teeth/mouths that just keep appearing on my email?
it makes me want to vomit to see their old gaping nasty yaps.

Email in the OR

Backstory: My mom is an OR nurse and was in surgery at the time, trying to look at a link I sent her via e-mail.

mom: I can’t look at it at work, they blocked it.
me: DUMB
mom: I know, way DUMB
me: what are you supposed to be doing?
mom: watching the field to see if they need anything
me: yeesh, it’s not like you’re saving lives or anything…
mom: Seriously! It’s just an eye.

More Erotic Than Professional

Hi, luv,

My pleasure!  Both of us really like your excellent resume but we hope you don’t mind us mentioning that we feel that “hot” in your e-mail address might deter a serious employer from hiring you.  It tends to sound more erotic than professional (more like for a stripper than a fitness instructor).  Also, someone might actually be too embarrassed to respond to such an address.

It’s interesting that the references’ addresses are more toned down.  Dad suggests:  fitveganmomma!

Much love as always and hoping that you won’t take offense.
See you tomorrow, Mum (& Dad)   xxx

Are You Sending Me Porn?

Just wanted to let you know that my school’s filtering system would not allow me to look at the website you sent me for the following reason: lingerie, nudity, swimsuits.  I AM scared!!  I wrote down the website and I’ll try at home or maybe Dad can tell me about it!

Luv Ya,  Mom


NEWS FLASH–Your grandmother called me and told me that she would really like to have you and Ben up for Thanksgiving. She also told me, “I suppose I should send her an e-mail. We’ve learned how to get e-mails, of course, but we’re not sure how to give them.”

Give e-mails. That’s so cute.

Call her honey.

I have a meeting with the president so I have to go.

Love you-

P.S.–Did you know how many certifiably dysfunctional people there are who are gainfully employed? It’s frightening.

Please help in my quest

Pet peeve: people who don’t take the time to change to ‘Subject’ line, from (for example), “Helmet Safety” to “I need Clothes.”  Reason: i’ll have in my mind that we discussed your need to wear a helmet, which is totally untrue. Please help in my quest to put correct subject lines in America’s e-mail.

Figuring Out Yahoo

You are right, unread messages are BOLDED.   By the way, this is the 3rd time I get this email from Yahoo.  I disregard right?

Bad Luck B*tch

Backstory: This was sent after we told our mom to break the cycle of chain e-mails that claim you get back luck if you don’t forward them on.

I am trying, but that b*tch keeps sending them to me.  I get scared that I will have bad luck if I don’t forward them on.

Veeeeerrrrrrrrry magical!!!!!

Backstory: my sister got a new email address and notified the family of the change.  This was my mom’s response

Is this in connection with your home computer?   I do need my shampoo out of my shower, AVEDA, as I cannot buy it up here.  Just the regular stuff not the purple.  Hey!!!!  How do I do the underline for your new address.  When I try to underline it, the whole thing disappears!!!   Veeeeerrrrrrrrry magical!!!!!   Hugs!  Mom

Get me out of here!

Surprise, I am writing you an email.


I am guessing that you are wondering how come I’m doing this — it’s just because I am locked into my computer room and cannot get out.  I was trying to put a door knob on the door and got started, but the thing went completely closed as I was trying to see if it was going to fit — and now here I am having to stoop so low as to write an email to you to see if you could call someone to come get me out.  My phones, of course, are all in the other room. I thought that perhaps you could call Beverly and have her and Howie come over and get me out.  If you happen to have Tami’s number then call her.

Anyhow, can you get me out of here.  I guess I’ll just play games on the computer until someone lets me out of here.  Send me an email to let me know you are doing this for me.

Late-night Emailing

Good Morning!!!
I know someone is up. It is 0400 and I had something to do. Sometimes when I e-mail folks at midnight here I get a response. E-mail is good that way. (Smile)

Love, Mom