I’m Concerned About the Health of Your Hoo-Hoo

So, I’m watching the show “The Doctors” and learned that I am not alone, there are other women who have hairy nipples! Just an FYI, if your partner has a cold, sore throat, etc. your Hoo-Hoo can catch it if he pays a visit down there. I can’t stop laughing, true, but so funny!

I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck

Me: This wedding is going to be a Tanya & Alice Production
Mom: oh yes, a T & A production
Me: Do you know what T & A stands for?
Me: Yes mom
Mom: I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck tanya.

Snow Up to Their Yooyoos

Had the driveway cleared, on Sat., so the family could park w/o wading in snow up to their yooyoo’s………It snowed again, kept snowing, kept snowing. The driveway is drifted in again (worse than before), but the sun is shining, so that’s a plus!!!

Park Your Car in My Garage

Mom: I’m just standing in line at Old Navy.

Me: Cool. What’d you get?

Mom: Good-looking man in front of me. I’d sure like him to park his car in MY garage!


Mom: Is Jon parking his car in your garage??

Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake

Backstory: My mom was a kindergarten teacher in a bad part of town.

Mom: It was a rough neighborhood. The kind of place where the men would come to the playground and let their snakes out of their bags.

Me: Ew! Mom that’s so gross.

Mom: I know. I hate snakes.

Me: Wait, that was a euphemism for something right?

Mom: No! They had real snakes! We had to go check the playground before recess to make sure they weren’t slithering around by the swings or anything.

Love, Mom