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So, I’m watching the show “The Doctors” and learned that I am not alone, there are other women who have hairy nipples! Just an FYI, if your partner has a cold, sore throat, etc. your Hoo-Hoo can catch it if he pays a visit down there. I can’t stop laughing, true, but so funny!
Me: This wedding is going to be a Tanya & Alice Production
Mom: oh yes, a T & A production
Me: Do you know what T & A stands for?
Mom: TITS & ASS
Me: Yes mom
Mom: I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck tanya.
Had the driveway cleared, on Sat., so the family could park w/o wading in snow up to their yooyoo’s………It snowed again, kept snowing, kept snowing. The driveway is drifted in again (worse than before), but the sun is shining, so that’s a plus!!!
Mom: I’m just standing in line at Old Navy.
Me: Cool. What’d you get?
Mom: Good-looking man in front of me. I’d sure like him to park his car in MY garage!
[pause]
Mom: Is Jon parking his car in your garage??
Backstory: My mom was a kindergarten teacher in a bad part of town.
Mom: It was a rough neighborhood. The kind of place where the men would come to the playground and let their snakes out of their bags.
Me: Ew! Mom that’s so gross.
Mom: I know. I hate snakes.
Me: Wait, that was a euphemism for something right?
Mom: No! They had real snakes! We had to go check the playground before recess to make sure they weren’t slithering around by the swings or anything.
