P90X Chopping Haters

Backstory: My mom recently started doing the p90x workout series, and is mildly obsessed.

So I had to pick Brian [my 17-year old brother] up from the nurse’s office on Monday and I went down the wrong hall. When I asked a hall monitor, what was about my own age, she pointed down the hall and said, “oh you have gone way out of the way, you need to go back down that hall and take a left. But you could probably use the exercise.” So i p90x chopped her in the face and ran away. Beeyatch.

The Wrong Kind of Yoga

C & I did the hot yoga thing years ago and almost died.  They make it a point to have the temp be really hot in the room ours was called astanga yoga.  The guy came up to us after our class and asked if we had signed up for the right course.  Obviously we had not.  We also learned “mula bonda” it was to sit wide open with your legs crossed and as the instructor explained it “suction your butt hole”  to the floor so you could then do some downward poses as you stretched forward.  OH, and I remember on one pose legs spread apart and bending over looking through my legs I opened my eyes only to see C eyeball to eyeball and butt ho to ho an inch apart from me (she had turned the wrong way to do this pose) and I busted into laughter and the instructor asked me to step out for a moment to compose myself.   OBVIOUSLY after just one class, we asked for our money back and did not return.

Jump Rope Conundrum

Hi Honey,
Jumping rope is something I could try to do again. I used to pee when I did it but now that I’m getting older, it might be worse or better in that department. I’m not sure. Just have to find a spot in which to do it where no one will be watching and I’ll have room. I guess the garage is the only answer. hahaha

On Her Way To Being A Calf

Well, just got back from the gym….I now know for sure that I am a cow. I
weigh 129!!!! NEVER before unless pregnant have I been this fat. Well, I guess you have to hit bottom before you go up. I hurt, but its a good hurt and I won’t stop. I have a training lady and she is helping too. I also think it will make me feel better, I can get out some of my frustrations on the machine. So, your mom is on her way to being a calf

Love you lots, MOM THE COW

P.S. I just talked to your dad and told him he’s not allowed to talk with any skinny bitches at work. hahaha.

My skin lesion is benign!

I just got great news. My skin lesion is benign! Thank God. I was sweating that one out. Of course, now I have a new injury. I was  exercising to a show on TV and I went into  the coffee  table. I have a bruise on my leg that looks like I have two knees. That’s what exercise will do for you! That will teach me. Have a great day! Love you, Mom

Love, Mom