If You Still Speak to Your Ex…

Backstory: I broke up with my girlfriend after 7 years.

Mom: Ommm, how are you feeling, Dear? Are you very depressed?
Me: I’m doing all right, mom.
Mom: Do you still keep contact with her? Do you two occassionally speak?
Me: Yeah, sometimes.
Mom: Then tell her to return my Tupperware plastic boxes, will you?

No Kind Words for an Ex-Fiance

Backstory: My ex-fiance had a baby, and I sent my mom facebook pictures of the baby and the wife.

The baby is ugly and so is she.

It was mean, I wanted my mom!

Backstory: I got divorced a few years ago and found some of my ex’s things when packing. I sent him a polite email asking if he’d like me to drop them off and got a really nasty, insulting response. I forwarded it to my mom (it was mean, I wanted my mom!) and her response slayed me. Especially the exclamation point abuse.

NO WAY! What an ASS!

I’m so angry right now….If I lived there you can be sure I would have a word or two for him!!!!!!! What an ASS!

You just can not be nice to wacko’s! No way will he get the table …we will burn it and dance around it and spit on it to keep the evil D. demons away!!!!!!

Love, Mom