I’m Busy Avoiding Carrots

Backstory: My mom was texting me pointless things so I asked her if she was bored at work. I guess she was. I don’t even understand how this is one coherent text message; she doesn’t really understand punctuation.

I am i am waiting for someone to email me stats so i can count and pull hair out if only it were eyebrow hair i could leave with stats done and better eyebrows¬† the beef jerky made my tummy growl i am avoiding carrots but not gonna buy chips! How’s ur day goin?

Your Eyebrows Are Finally in Fashion!

Backstory: My mother was talking about renewing health insurance and interjected with this random tangent.

mom: did you notice that your eyebrows have now become fashionable?
me: what’s wrong with my eyebrows?!
mom: nothing.  they are exactly what is in fashion.
you always wanted grandma’s and now yours are in fashion.

Love, Mom