It’s mom here!  Cindy got me on facebook and it said that you have two new friends! I’m so glad you have friends.  Also I think my cows are exploding?? Can you send me a milk machine??
Love, Mom

Backstory: I’m 39 years old and the mother of two.  This message was sent via Facebook about my profile as my mom sees it.

hey your home page is showing your cell phone number, your facebook number (ummm, what?), the fact that you live in _______ (which I don’t) , and you work for the ___________ (which it doesn’t), where you went to school, etc, the whole thing is on there, this could be dangerous if the wrong person got that info, i checked my home page and all it is people who i know and are sending me facebook emails, it looks like the info on your profile has maybe shown up on your home page, just thought i would let you know that it is still on there for all to see i cant even see when you are on facebook i dont know if anyone else can maybe a problem with facebook, so much for their privacy thing love you

I just looked on my facebook page and m has put a question about what color panties I am wearing……. Major WTF and also if you would like to have sex with me Double MAJOR WTF. Does she put stuff like that everywhere????

Backstory: My mother doesn’t want to set up a facebook account, because she doesn’t want anyone “knowing her business.”  She, however, wants to know everyone else’s business.

Could you discreetly check B’s Facebook page to see if the baby was born and how she’s doing….

Backstory: I was on Facebook and answered a questionnaire about some of my friends. One was “would your mom be a good rapper” and i wrote “sure.” Lo and behold she responded to my answer with a rap. She now raps on a daily basis and finds herself to be a lyrical genius.

My name is Dona
And I’ll rap here cause I wanna
set down my rhymes for you
I’ll make some time for you
got time to kill
playing farmville
I got no mo to prove

As you can see–my style here is Dr. Seuss meets M&M (or Dr. Seuss eating M&M’s–you choose.

“D bubble” gotta go to work:)

Backstory: Mom is very confused by the things my 13-year-old cousin posts on Facebook.

Am I crazy or does this look like an inappropriate emoticon            <333
It looks inappropriate to me, but what do I know?  I’m an old lady.

Backstory: After having to explain to my Spanish boyfriend what ‘jorts’ are, he decided to find the best example he could and post a picture on facebook. This is my mom’s reaction after seeing it.

your mother loves you and that jort picture is amazing… i never want to hear any comments about my hulk hogan culottes again.

Backstory: My ex-fiance had a baby, and I sent my mom facebook pictures of the baby and the wife.

The baby is ugly and so is she.

Backstory: I was griping about getting information 3rd hand from across state lines.

You know this is why we always end up being in control.  We can’t stand for someone else to not ask all the right questions.

I saw a quote on facebook.  It said “Procrastination is like masturbation.  It feels good while you’re doing it but afterwards you realize you just f*$%!!! yourself.”  I thought it was wonderfully funny and so very appropriate.  (By the way, I realize this has nothing to do with the subject at hand but I wanted to share it with you.)
Love, Mom

Backstory: this was the only line in the email – not in any way a p.s.

ps I hate the picture you have for your facebook profile pic. Pick the one by the tree in europe. its very pretty.