I have finally landed at home, so here I am to bug you. Been one of those old people days. I went looking for my coffee cup this morning, couldn’t find it anywhere. Dad looked in the fridge and pantry, I said I didn’t come and get another cup of coffee yesterday, so just hoped it would show up or else we knew the coffee cup elf had been here. Well, when I got home from church today, decided to get a cup of coffee, opened the microwave to heat it up, and there sat my cup pretty as could be, full of the coffee I never got to yesterday!

Off to the grocery store, buy 4 12 packs of coke brand cans, get a 5th free, and 2 Hillshire smoked sausage packs free. OMG, the old people were like Christmas morning toy sale buyers at Toys R Us. Fussing at each other, and the stuff was stacked as high as we are tall. I decided to do the rest of my shopping first and come back, but when I got to the sausage spot, it was get out of my way grabbing.
So glad to be home and alive!

Backstory: Mom emailed me telling me she pulled a muscle in her back. I recommended a sore muscle balm I’ve used before, but warned her because it smells pretty strong.

Well right now I have a hot pak stuffed down the back of my pants…..so smell is the least of my worries. I have a hump on my lower back.

ha ha ha it hurts to laugh so im not using any capital letters

Hi Honey,
Jumping rope is something I could try to do again. I used to pee when I did it but now that I’m getting older, it might be worse or better in that department. I’m not sure. Just have to find a spot in which to do it where no one will be watching and I’ll have room. I guess the garage is the only answer. hahaha

Backstory: I asked Mum if she and Dad had any preferences for what will happen to their bodies/funerals when they die and told her my preferences.

I’m kinda hoping to outlive everyone, so it should be irrelevant! (he,he) Seriously though, do whatever you want with the bodies but no expensive funeral. After all, that’s only for show (to some extent) and the funeral director taking advantage of grief (to a large extent). So simple is fine.
Is there something I should be worried about…life insurance, funeral instructions?? Anything going on?

Backstory: my mom and I joke about me sending her to a nursing home in Barstow when she has “senior moments.”

Last night I bit my tongue really hard and this morning sneezed and peed in my pj’s. When you come home you might want to look into Barstow for me.

Mom was preparing us for our Christmas visit. My husband found this hilarious (instead of gross): just more proof that he’s a keeper…

Last (AND least), I want all of you to be aware of a few “household habits” we’ve developed because I’m sure they’ll be apparent & I want to prepare you: so better admit this to your men-folk too. Because Daddy can’t walk much, and because we don’t have a bathroom on the main floor, I’ve been letting Daddy (as if I could stop him!) pee into a small bucket in the kitchen & pour it down the sink. He’s not exactly shy, but thank goodness he won’t do this if anyone is around in the kitchen, so if you ever notice the kitchen doors closed, please know not to come in. If this grosses anyone out, get OVER it or reach for the Lysol in the cabinet.

Backstory: This was mom’s rant about her bosses the day she quit her job at the local newspaper.

I told my boss he was a soul-less suit and walked out. He’s such a tool. He has his head so far up Nancy’s ass and she’s just an old, bitchy, dried-out-uterus hag!