Backstory: Not only does my mom love typing phonetically (see also: “sat-chill” for the far-too-common “satchel”), she has a serious love-hate (well, hate) relationship with MTV “Teen Mom’s” Amber who constantly berates her boyfriend with the stinging, “Seriously Gary.” But, you know, with an accent of some sort.

Checking my gray hairs today, I noticed that there is dye on my scalp in blotchy form.  It looks like scabs all over the top of my head!  I quickly pulled the hair back up and put my hat on….  happy I packed it my sat-chill.  I had no idea it was so noticeable.  Looks like I have a head disease – seriously Gear-ree.  I’m gonna have to scrub it out somehow off the scalp first before re-dying my hair.  It looks permanent!

Backstory: I am a hairstylist and while my mom was waiting I had a very rude client who was insulting me.

I left my water bottle there. Fill it up, put it in the freezer, then hit the bitch in the head with it.

Backstory: My mom is dying for my younger brother, a very low maintenance jock type who has had a buzz cut for the last 10 years,  to meet a nice girl. She has several theories as to why he is still single. This is a new one.

I know he has a friend’s wedding coming up. Maybe he will meet someone there. I hope he does.  That’s a great place to do it.  Not trying to pick on him, but any idea why he doesn’t let his hair grow longer?  He has such beautiful hair.  If he is concerned about how to wear it, he could go to a salon and have it styled.  Just a thought.

Backstory: I was spending 3 months abroad and my mom (who just learned how to use the computer) and I were emailing each other every day. She doesn’t speak English so I translated it from Portuguese. B would be me, and Mcam would be a Web Cam

I got the other pictures. They turned out really well. Send me more whenever you feel like it.
B, could you my honeybee, cut your bangs again? Because you look prettier that way.
I’m not trying to upset you my daughter, but I really like your hair that way.
B, could you please buy me a mcam? I don’t know if this is the name but you understand, right?
I hope I can talk to you before New Year’s, why aren’t you calling me, why?

kisses,
Mami

Backstory: I live 10 minutes away and always get grief I never call, now she guilts me on Facebook.

I love your hair, my sweet daughter! Oh wait, it’s been that way for a couple of weeks..hmmm…hope to see you soon…love, Mom :)