The Great Paranoid Pumpkin

Backstory: After a late night out, I let my phone die; apparently, this means that I died too. I really don’t know why she signed this as the Great Pumpkin.

Hi,

Probably everything is fine and I am just in a panic, but….

I sent out my usual good morning text this morning and there was no reply.  No matter, thought 7  was too early, but there was no reply at 9:30 either.  So I thought I would give you a call, and it went straight to voice mail.

So, you can see that a paranoid person, such as myself, with a vivid imagination, could become worried.

There is probably a logical explanation for this, such as you are busy and your phone is dead.

Just want to make sure you are okay, so can you please send me an email and let me know that you are okay?

Sincerely

The Great Pumpkin

Me and You Down the Aisle!

Me: Hey mom, do you happen to have your old wedding dress? I need it for Halloween. I’m going to be a shotgun wedding.
Mom: I have no idea where my wedding dress is…pretty funny…you DO realize that that dress would’ve been perfect as it WAS a shotgun wedding…you did know that didn’t you? YUP, me and you down the aisle!!! Go to a salvation army or something or maybe your father has the wedding dress!! ha ha Hey, how was your date?

Sex Ed, Coming Right Up

Backstory: For halloween I cut off the toe part of some black striped tights to make them into arm warmers and one of them ended up on the floor in my room.

Um…
I’ve never seen one, so I don’t know what one looks like, but I found this black nylon THING on your bedroom floor.  Is it a condom?!

like you weren’t looking

Me: my math prof was edward scissor hands for halloween
Me: in class
Mom: did it look good?
Me: it wasn’t bad but it was creepy
Me: because he was wearing tights
Mom: oh my
Me: and you could see EVERYTHING
Mom: oooh not good or was it?
Me:
Me: mom
Mom: what?
Me: :(
Mom: oh please!
Mom: like you weren’t looking

Halloween Postgame

We had President Obama ring the doorbell! Also, someone who turned out to be a “meatball” but I thought he was poop. Then we had “bacon” but I didn’t know what it was until “eggs” showed up a few seconds later.

Halloween History

Backstory: Mom has always been anti-Halloween, but since becoming an empty-nester, she’s loosening up.

Who says I don’t like Halloween? This song is from my generation. 1962. The year of the Seattle World’s Fair (April 21-October 21). Dad and I were in junior high. October 1962 was the month/year of the Cuban blockade. Things were scary. We thought we were going to war with Russia/Cuba. And out came this marvelous song to help release our fears as teens danced to this song and sang it with smiles on their faces. Russia backed down–hooray! We made it to Halloween in one piece. Enjoy this one piece of history, with my love~  Mom

(link to “Monster Mash”)

Pumpkin Carving In Utero

Backstory: My sister’s baby is due in March. It is still in her uterus.

Hi!

I picked up two medium pumpkins today, in case you feel like carving them when you’re here. And I got one little bitty one for the baby! Hee, hee!

Soap Opera Fetus

Backstory: For Halloween this year, my husband is going to be an Eagle Scout and I am going to be a pregnant Girl Scout.

It will be easier if you make a soap opera fetus…that velcros in back, I will tell you how later.

Anyhow, high-teased pigtails are best, you can pin tilt-Girl Scout hat in middle & put cockburro’s and pinestraw in the pigtails.

I have white lacy fold down socks with small green flowers in white lace…don’t know where but you don’t need if you’re going to wear fishnets.

Got to get, love you.
Mom

Found: One Halloween Sock

Honey
When I cleaned out the laundry room, I found your Halloween sock–don’t laugh, I’m sending it to you because oct 31 is around the corner.
Looking forward to seeing you this weekend, even though you’re busy with your friends.  Are you coming home Fri night or Sat?

Love ya
Momma Bear

She Has the Updated Model

Me: happy halloween.
did you dress up? are you giving the neighborhood kids a ride on your broom?

Mom: no, your dad’s wife borrowed it.

Me: why would she borrow your broom? hers works just fine.

Mom: Hahahaha……  Oh I forget she has the updated  model.

Mom’s Recession Advice

Mom: I figured I would talk to you about it when you came next weekend – are you coming?????????????

Me: umm, 90% sure

Mom: how come you are not out trick or treating?  ask for money . . .

FANTABULOUS Treats

How were the cupcakes?  I have a GREAT treat idea for you.  It is FANTABULOUS and you I could make it for tomorrow.  I think I will make some tonight.  There really is no assembly – all you do is put it together and pop it in the microwave…

Snyder Butter Snap pretzels, placed on a cookie sheet, Rollo’s or Hershey Kiss on top, warm in the oven, take out and top with an almond/peanut M&M – possibly yellow and purple…THEY ARE FANTASTIC!

How were your treats?

Halloween Goes to the Dogs

The vest to the cowgirl costume for Lily is tight and she hates it. It was XLarge, the biggest this company makes, I might keep it for Ava because her cow costume is also tight. I could return them but the shipping cost to return and then shipping and handling for something else probably wouldn’t be worth it.

Maybe you could find something for Lily in Target. I heard they have halloween costumes for dogs. Wal Mart has costumes too but they all seem to be too small for bigger dogs.

See you Sunday.

Love Mom



Love, Mom