Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die?

Mom: Punkin, I’m going through the house now deciding who will get what when I die. Would you like me to send you all the mounted antlers and stuffed pheasants your dad had around here?
Me: Um……no
Mom: Why not? He was proud of those kills.
Me: Mom, I’m a vegetarian.
Mom: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you’re one of “those people”.
Me: What do you mean “those people”?
Mom: You know, California hippie tree huggers. How’s that Obama working out for you, huh?

Your Brother’s Taste in Women

Backstory: My mom and I are conspiring to get my brother to apply for a perfect-for-him internship at an organic nursery.

By the way if  you tell Matt there will be hippy chicks working at this nursery he might be interested!  For some reason he likes women with hairy arm pits…go figure!

What did you learn from the hippies?

Backstory: I had to cover an eco-festival as a photographer and I jokingly told my mom I would have to dig up a pair of Birkenstocks to wear so I would fit in.

Okay funny person why would I take computer classes when I have you?

Next question how do I forward a gmail sent to me to someone else?
Can’t find a “forward” button anywhere?!?!!?

And I forgot to ask how your “nature revival” or was it a “power flower fest” went yesterday. Did you have the right shoes? Did anyone have a “tie dye” shirt?

Most of all what did you learn?

No Free Love

Me:  he’s all “we’re camping out at an art and music festival in the middle of a huge field. we’re hippies.”  so he wants to get a tent and stuff after class, and then i’m getting my nose pierced.

Mom:  as long as the free love doesnt come in literally


Me:  haha

no, i charge

Mom:  omg. don’t make me nuttier than i already am


Love, Mom