Mom: Punkin, I’m going through the house now deciding who will get what when I die. Would you like me to send you all the mounted antlers and stuffed pheasants your dad had around here?
Me: Um……no
Mom: Why not? He was proud of those kills.
Me: Mom, I’m a vegetarian.
Mom: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you’re one of “those people”.
Me: What do you mean “those people”?
Mom: You know, California hippie tree huggers. How’s that Obama working out for you, huh?

Me:  he’s all “we’re camping out at an art and music festival in the middle of a huge field. we’re hippies.”  so he wants to get a tent and stuff after class, and then i’m getting my nose pierced.

Mom:  as long as the free love doesnt come in literally

hahaha

Me:  haha

no, i charge

Mom:  omg. don’t make me nuttier than i already am

geeze