Postcards From Yo Momma
Book
Contact About
News
BestOf Submit

Hockey Problems

Backstory: My mother comes from a country on the equator. She the watched America vs. Canada in the olympics, it was her first hockey experience.

The problem with hockey is that everyone has a stick.

Why Mom Never Went Pro

When Tom was born he had to be under lights for several days. He looked like a movie star in sunglasses with a little black mask over his eyes. With you I pulled my hamstring muscle in my groin. I didn’t realize it until the next morning it was painful to scoot the few inches to swing my legs off the bed and stand up. When the intern came to see me- he was the doctor for the Peoria hockey team- he told me he saw that a lot in hockey players. My roommate said it had happened to her husband when he was playing baseball. I asked how long it would take to heal, she said “All I know is if you’re playing semi-pro, your career is over.” And that is why I never took up hockey or baseball.

Mom’s…Encouragement

Backstory: I’ve gone back to college & started dating again, at the ripe age of 28. My mom feels the need to encourage me.

me: so one of my classmates/groupmates plays hockey for psu. he got the crap beat out of him in their game last night!
mom: gotta love those hockey boys. they take a licken’ and keep on ticken’
me:he’s a cutie but i think he’s only like 21
mom: that meat is a little young!
me: omg! i just said he was a cutie not that i was planning on hitting that!
mom: yeah right!
me: uh hello i have to work on the project with him until the end of may! after that, maybe…
mom: be gentle…
me: ok this conversation is over!



Love, Mom