New Year’s Cleaning

Mom: was going to get in the shower, put pjs in the wash.. decided to vacuum the house… in socks and Birkenstocks. (you are welcome for that picture!)
Me: LMAO!!
Mom: Have added a scarf to my cleaning ensemble
Me: Nips get chilly?
Mom: yes, and hit one on the door… ouch! hahaha

Memorable College Experiences

Yay! Congratulations on your first extermination experience. I am so happy to know that your college years will be filled with memorable times like these. Remember these words of wisdom from your mother……A dead roach is a good roach!

Now about that sponge. This is one of those times I like to say, “what the @&*!” Do you really think Matt is going to wake up and say, “Gee wiz, I think I better go buy a new sponge and go clean that sink.” REALLY? You may feel the cold frosty air of hell freezing over before that happens.

So yes, add rubber gloves to the list along with a gas mask and go attack the bathroom. Thanks for sharing!

Love you,

Using Mop N’ Glo to Clean a Toilet

So, not only did I fail to teach you how to put on makeup, but also failed to teach you how to use cleaning products. And you are the woman who gave Martha’s Housekeeping to me.
However, the fact that you are cleaning the bathroom with anything proves that you remain unlike your brother and you were not raised in a barn by goats.
Love you,

Help Wanted

I need to hire a housekeeper.   If I make contact with your person, I will discuss pay, but if you care to tell me how much you pay, that would help.  Also, I wish that you would be honest in your assessment of the individual.  I have been burned twice recently and I would just as soon do it myself rather than get another problem child.  And, if you’d like to forward this e-mail to any of your friends, please feel free to do so.  MUST be legal.  MUST speak English in order to answer the phone and handle emergencies.  Will not have to do laundry (except folding sometimes) but will need to iron and also polish silver.  Prefer to have someone either Tuesday,Wednesday or Thursday for about 6 hours (Can leave earlier if finished.).  It would be nice if she has other employers who are flexible enough to be able to switch occasionally.  I would like some references, if possible.  I do not care where this person is from or what color she is, but I need to be able to undertand her.

Love, Mom