Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die?

Mom: Punkin, I’m going through the house now deciding who will get what when I die. Would you like me to send you all the mounted antlers and stuffed pheasants your dad had around here?
Me: Um……no
Mom: Why not? He was proud of those kills.
Me: Mom, I’m a vegetarian.
Mom: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you’re one of “those people”.
Me: What do you mean “those people”?
Mom: You know, California hippie tree huggers. How’s that Obama working out for you, huh?

Oh Deer

Backstory: My mom found a lot of deer in her flowerbeds this morning.  She also has a loaded BB gun in the kitchen that she uses to scare off the “wildlife” that show up in my parents’ yard.

We’ll they’ve got the whole freaking woods.  What do they need in my yard.  God, just one more thing to piss me off that I have to shoot at.


Nothing Can Stop the Hunt

Well, your dad got distracted at work today … 4 hours in the ER and 2 stitches. He got his left wrist smashed in a vice. Of course all he can think about is the hunt this weekend. For heaven’s sake! Keep him out of trouble!? Stay warm xoxo

Love, Mom