Mom: the picture you have on this messenger has someone else’s cheek connected to you
Me: haha yea its my friends. i thought it was an attractive cheek so i borrowed it for the night, made a nice accessory
Mom: some people may think you are siamese twins (i.e. a two-headed creature)
Me: yea, not the worst thing [...]

me: I feel fat.
mom: It’s Jordan’s fault. Dump him.
me: hahahahaha I love you
mom: Are you going out with the wannabe-stalker tonight?
me: yes
mom: Well just remember, he makes you fat.

me:  mom?
Mom:  yes, I am here
me:  hey
Mom:  hi there, just to be clear, this is mom

I have a stupid question.  Do you think that I have instant messenger?  Because I seem to get your emails right away.