Backstory: I’m almost 40.
Mom: Where are you today?
Me: Lynchburg, Virginia
Mom: Oh that sounds fun.
Me: I’m going to run and get a salad for dinner
Mom: Are you leaving the hotel?
Me: Yes.  I’m going across the street
Mom: Well don’t talk to strangers
Me: Thanks, I missed that in pre-school.
Mom: One of these days someone will kidnapp [...]

Mom:  So when we come to Sydney can we stay at yours?
Mom: Hello?
Me: Oh. Sure. Well, actually there are a number of awesome hotels just a two minute walk from my house. I’ve just emailed you a bunch of links. Have a look! Am happy to book any of them for you. But, yeah, of [...]

Me:  I think i just gave your number to a scam artist, Im sorry  :*{
Mom:  What happened?
Me:  Some guy from the streets wanted to sell me magazines, i told him if you all renew you might do it thru him, but Sara says its a scam
Me:  I love you  O:)
Me:  His name is John if [...]

Mom: I had a great sandwich, whole wheat pita, ground turkey meat seasoned w/garlic salt, avocado (lots),lettuce, parsley, cucumbers,waterrcress. Yum-Yum
Me: did you make it
Mom: Yup. I keep a fresh salad in the fridge, with romaine,parsley,cuces, and watercress.Then we put a dressing of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and lemon juice.  Again Yum-Yum You can used the [...]

MOM: Have a good day, Darling!
ME: thanks…
MOM: Oh, and make sure your sister doesn’t forget her weed today.
ME: …
ME: you mean her oboe reed?
MOM: Yes
ME: you wrote “weed”
MOM: Did I? Oops! You know what I mean.

my away message: getting cut is the most liberating thing in the world.
mom: cut how?
me: let go early
mom: oh, you scared me
me: haha why?
mom: cut like ouch
mom: like bleeding
me: hahaha no. from the schedule.