Backstory: I have a job interview with a company that has the word Ivy (not plant related) in the title, and my mother so generously offered her advice and other misc thoughts in 3 immediate text messages.

Mom: Cool. i like ivy. Tell him your mother has it all over her house and yard! Just lookin’ for an edge here.

Mom: Practice looking interested in front of the mirror. Try not to yawn in his face. Avoid picking your nose and hocking loogies. Go ahead and wear a clean shirt.

Mom: I watched Twilight last nt as I swtched betw olympics. Bad hair on Edward. Funny but it’s the same bad hair I saw on him the first time. Amazing.