HI,

JUST HAD MY FIRST VISIT TO A RESTAURANT SUPPLY WAREHOUSE.

SO TOTALLy TRYING TO CONTROL MYSELF, I GOT 5 LBS OF WHITEFISH SALAD. 4 HUGE THINGS OF LOX.  EVERYDAY STEAK KNIVES, I HAVE ENOUGH TO GIVE SOME AWAY.

BRING CONTAINERS IN YOUR COOLER TO TAKE LEFT OVERS.  I WILL HAVE PLENTY OF TURKEY AND BRISKET, GEFILTE FISH ALSO.

LOVE, MOM

Backstory: I got an abnormal pap smear result and my Jewish-Catholic-Buddhist mother sent me this e-mail ahead of my return to the doctor today.

Baby, I’ve already sent you thousands of positive energies, and I’ve wished on Archangel Raphael (the healing one) to bless you and protect you, and make you healthy soon, you know until you’re Kosher I won’t relax!!! LOVE YOU