malapropisms » Postcards From Yo Momma

Start Doing Hand Jobs

Me: mom, I talked to an agent today who specializes in just parts. She liked my hands and wants to send me on go-sees!

Mom: That would be great if you could start doing hand jobs!

Me: mom, in the business, I think they call it “hand work”

Mom: oh. that’s a much better name for it.

Posted on 10.01.2008 at 9:03 am// Tagged: malapropisms

"I'm named after the song A Letter to Elise by The Cure, and my middlenames: Klara and Lisel were chosen because my mom had a dream about having a daughter named Klara, and she promised my great-grandmother that she would name me Lisel."
— Elise
on "Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name?"
- That’s Not My Name! (12)
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  - Laura: My grandmother is also a “Joan” that insists that it’s pronounced...
- Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name? (99)
  - MegP: That was my mom’s logic for choosing “Megan.” I graduated HS with...
  - mindi: My name cane from the book “coffee, tea, or me?” one of the characters was...
- What’s Coffee Without Cream Like? (3)
  - k: Ha! came here to say the exact same thing.
- Planning for a Barista-in-Law (5)
  - Nancy: “But you want me mixed up with a barista!?” JEEEEEEEERRRRRRKKKKK. I bet...
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. In Case of Craigslist Murder +72
- 2. Where the Heck is Click? +68
- 3. What’s Coffee Without Cream Like? +57
- 4. Happy… Birthday? +50
- 5. Dad is a BFB +43
- 6. Red Carpet Commentary +37
- 7. Smoking and Drinking +31
- 8. The Case of the Deodorant Thief +31
- 9. The Politics of the Ballet Recital +29
- 10. Planning for a Barista-in-Law +22
— view all —
- 1. Did You Know About This? +131
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- 4. Trapped With Dad and Bro +87
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- 7. That’s Not My Name! +80
- 8. My Googilly +79
- 9. Customer Service +76
- 10. In Case of Craigslist Murder +72
— view all —
- 1. Pulling One Over on Dad +298
- 2. We Should Probably Stop Hugging. +260
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- 4. You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby +247
- 5. Beyonce and Sigg Bottles +238
- 6. Where Did You Go? (On AIM) +229
- 7. The Truth Behind Dad’s Itinerary +221
- 8. We Go On, We Live Life +208
- 9. Best Buy Jailbreak +207
- 10. Actually, I Don’t Get It +197
— view all —
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1336
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- 3. Get me out of here! +941
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +888
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +870
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +841
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +836
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— view all —
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (14)
- 2. Radical Mom (5)
- 3. Planning for a Barista-in-Law (5)
- 4. The Case of the Deodorant Thief (4)
- 5. Happy... Birthday? (4)
- 6. In Case of Craigslist Murder (3)
- 7. What's Coffee Without Cream Like? (3)
- 8. Red Carpet Commentary (2)
- 9. Where the Heck is Click? (2)
- 10. Smoking and Drinking (2)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (99)
- 2. Did You Know About This? (25)
- 3. Twilight: A Critique (14)
- 4. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (14)
- 5. How to Date-Text Your Mom (13)
- 6. Today in Mom News: Does Motherhood Affect Memory? (13)
- 7. That's Not My Name! (12)
- 8. President of the I Can’t Stand David Cassidy Fan Club (10)
- 9. Hand-Me-Down Bras (9)
- 10. Trapped With Dad and Bro (9)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (99)
- 2. We Go On, We Live Life (42)
- 3. Never Too Young for Babies (34)
- 4. No Grandchildren Yet? An American Girl Doll Will Do (30)
- 5. Did You Know About This? (25)
- 6. For Future Reference (24)
- 7. Why Punish the Rest of Us? (22)
- 8. What Dad Wants for His Birthday (19)
- 9. Sex Ed, Coming Right Up (18)
- 10. The REAL Joy of Sex (18)
- 1. Where Are You From? (178)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (99)
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- 4. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
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- 7. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
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Start Doing Hand Jobs

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