Smoking and Drinking

Me: Hey Mom!  How was your birthday?
Mom: It was wonderful!  We smoked and drank ALLL weekend!
Me: Umm …really?  You smoked and drank all weeekend?
Mom: Yep!  We made a pitcher of margarita’s and smoked a turkey and a brisket and even some sausage!!

I’m Still Loopy

Mom: I had ome margarita 5 hours ago and I am still loopy.
Me: One, huh?
Mom: Well I tried to spell it, but I am also tanked on Ambien so goodnight, smart ass.
Mom: A mother on Ambien is altogether different than a mother. With that said, I am retiring to my bedchambers. Unfortunately McSteamy will not be joining.

Love, Mom