Dude!! It’s Your Daughter’s Wedding.

Backstory: Ever since I was about 14, I called my Dad “Dod,” because it amused me. It stuck. Anyway, my dad lost a lot of weight recently and he needs a new suit for my wedding.

I told Dod the other night that we need to get him a new suit. He looked at me the way the cat used to when I said, “Um, go do…this.” He was all, “I have a suit.” And I was all, “Yeah, from when you were 45 lbs. heavier.” And he was all, “Don’t I have something from before I got fat??” And I was all, “????????????????????????? Dude!! It’s your daughter’s wedding. You need a new fucking suit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Hmmm Bop

Mom: The RSVP card has a blank line that says “Please indicate the name of a song you would like to hear at our reception.”
Me: cute. weirdly phrased, but cute.
Mom: I’ve sure never seen that before.
Me: nope, and I would certainly never do it
Mom: LOL. I should request Hmmm Bop.
Me: Mmmbop, Mom.
Mom: I thought of Macarena too, but I sure as hell can’t spell that one.
Me: /facepalm

Love, Mom