Martha’s Mutts
almost finished my last American magazine – I left the best til last – Martha Stewart. I was really enjoying it until I saw a photo of ‘one of Martha’s French bulldogs’ – one of her French bulldogs! That bitch really has everything!!
Martha Wouldn’t Say Sh*t
Me: So I’ve cleaned, studied, did homework, did laundry, put away laundry (hung up and folded) and now I’m making a batch of lavender shortbread.
Mom: Martha!
Me: RIGHT?! shit. I need an A-line dress and a frilly apron.
Mom: There was no need for profanity! It doesn’t fit with the frilly apron image.
Wedding Planning with Martha Stewart
Backstory: I’m planning my wedding and recently delegated a DIY project to my mom, complete with a link to an online Martha Stewart tutorial.
Hi. Great. I do SO want to help. Thank you. I already have some flameless tealights. I can get a few more. There is a kiosk in [local mall]. I also have some votive holders, which help to weight them down, as per Martha’s instructions. She is my friend, you know. I thought of adding her to the guest list, but held myself back. Not sure where the scissors got to . Will have a look.
We could do a work bee, but I’m thinking the invitations one is more important.
