A repository of modern day maternal correspondence

There Are No Phones On No Pants Island

Hey, I know you are in love.. but what about us???? We look forward to hearing from you…don’t stop calling us….

Missing You (and everyone else)

I will send cookies in this box as well, so look out for it ! Probably by Friday,ok?
I wish I could see the room. Will you take some pics and send them on email? ( OR i could get limited facebook, and let you do this this way…. LET me know!)
Tell all the homeys that [...]

Do you have bubonic plague?

Are you avoiding me?  Those people I’m avoiding are the only e-mails I don’t respond to at all.  If I don’t have time to do what I’m asked, I at least write back to say that.  Or do you have bubonic plague, or all internet connections in Toronto have mysteriously vanished?

Twilight Bark for G-ma and G-pa

Remember in “101 Dalmatians”, when the dogs in the village wanted to talk to each other, they would bark to the dog next door, and it would carry on until every one heard the news? It was called a ‘twilight bark,’ as I recall. Well, I was going to call G-ma & G-pa just now, [...]

You Still Scare The Hell Out Of Me.

Backstory: my mom sometimes worries that we’re too close
Mom: We’re mom/daughter, not friends, right?
Me: Yes, you still scare the hell out of me.  None of my friends can do that.
Mom: Good.  In a very weird messed up way.  I can’t wait to see you next weekend.  You make me happy

D***, S** and Rock and Roll

We are really going to miss you when you leave for college.  But dont worry your father and I will now have an opportunity to do all the things we weren’t able to do when you were around d****, s**, and rock and roll.
Love Mom

I Will Sit In The Dark And Wait For You

i would rather hang around w/you then go to the mtns and the times when you are doing something else, i will sit in the dark and wait for you to come back..mom

I need you, sooooooon!

Hey Darling!
When oh when will  you be coming over, I can’t print anything and I need you, sooooooon!
How about Tues or Thur evening. Tues would be better.
Let me know and what happened on Sat, you were so “can’t come, bye”
Love
Mom

If you get too busy to call, just call

I know you get busy sometimes and don’t have time to call and check in with me on your way home and things are so busy when you get home with getting dinner and everything.  Don’t worry about it if you can’t check in, just give me a call and let me know.

Have you stopped using anti-perspirant?

Here’s the worried mom talking “Are you eating well?  Have you stopped using anti-perspirant?  Will you have fun at Symphony Hall tonight?  What’s new?  What’s old?”
Give me a reassuring e-mail so that I know you aren’t huddled in a corner, starving, and lonely!!!
Love,
Llama

all the mushy sh*t

It’s mommycakes! I miss you and I love you and I wish I could be there to hug ya and slap you around a lil bit to show you I care about ya and how sad I am that things are so hard right now.
…There. Now that I got all the mushy shit outta the [...]

Your Man Comes Home

Hey,
Whats up? your man comes home and you don’t call your momma………
LOLOLOLOLOOLOl

Your Sex Doll

Backstory: “Several months ago I passed along to my Mom a link to BBC documentary about the men who have relationships with the real doll sex toys.  Shortly thereafter the film Lars and the Real Girl was released.  Neither of us were able see the film while in theaters, so we made a date to [...]



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