Mom: How do we go about promoting a Christian cd?   Do you know anyone who works for a Christian music station?
Me: No, but I can look into it.  We have a Christian station here.
Mom: Yeah, I’m thinking about recording an cd.
Me: What?  Are you really??  Or is this for Allison?
Mom: Please!!!!!!!!!!  Do you really think I could cut a record?
Me: Well, they do give out record deals to anyone these days.  You should drop some fly beats and lay down a track or two.
Mom: What does that mean?  Allison thought it maybe had something to do with dropping some turds & leaving tracks.  Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom: What’s the name of that radio station you told me about? THe online one? Music Whore or something?
Me:…It’s called slacker radio…..

Mom: Hey, can you get me some more Marshall Tucker Band music off your Lemon Line?
Me: It’s called limewire, mom.
Mom: Whatever. I just know it’s citrusy and provides free music.
Me: Well, technically it’s not free, its illegal.
Mom: There you go again, ruining all my fun.

Backstory: My mom’s office is located directly below my bedroom, and after listening to one of my showering mixes, she fell in love with the band “the rasmus” and has one of their songs up all the way. so, i’m sitting in my room, minding my own business, when all of a sudden…

mom: i love this band
me: haha, well good!
mom: like seriously love them, can i marry all of them?
me: uhmmm.. okay! but can you turn it down? i have a headache.
mom: sorry, can’t hear you. what?
me: you don’t need to hear me! you’re reading the screen!
mom: oh my goodness! i just went blind! nooo! music is my only companion noww!
me: you suck. a lot.
mom: love you too. :)

Backstory:  My fiance and I spent the weekend at my parent’s lake house, and evidently left behind a CD that I burned for him to listen to in the car, a long while back.
Mom: I found a CD on the bureau in the third bedroom that had “I (heart) you” on it.  Looks like your writing.

Me: Oh.  Sry.  We must have left that by accident.

Mom: Is that your lovemaking cd?

Me: What?  NO!  Did u LISTEN 2 it?

Mom: No, I did not want to think of you and Jason making sweet love on that new mattress that I just bought, tainting it.

Me: MOM!  It’s a CD with rock music on it.  Seether, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, etc.  I highly doubt that we would be hittin’ it to that!

Mom: I have never heard of those bands.  Is that what Denise calls “Kill Your Mother Music”?

Me: Knowing her, probably.

Mom: Well, it could be possible you use it for that.  Some people like rough sex.

Me: OK Mom, that’s enough.  But no, it is not our “lovemaking” CD.

Mom: Ok….I’ll mail it.  Wait!  Does it have any music on it from that Kahnyay person?  A nurse at the hospital was having a fit her daughter was listening to his music?????????  I wanted to hear some.

Me: NO, there is no KANYE West on there.

Mom: Okay, well maybe you should check him out.  He might make some good music to sex to.

Me: Ok, mom.  Enough.

Backstory: My mom probably hasn’t listened to anything besides Christian and/or country music for the past twenty years.

Mom: Have you heard of Kanye West?

Me: Umm, yes?

Mom: Have you heard his new CD? Track 11?

Me: Yes, I have heard it, but I don’t know that song… why?

Mom: Well your sister played it for me and I LOVE IT. I made her put it on my computer.

Me: hahaha hahahahahahhaa

Mom: What?

Me: That’s just… random.

Mom: Is he someone bad? What, is this the same as if I liked Eminem or something?

Mom:  Are you watching the MTV Awards?

Me:  Nah, don’t really care about them much.  Thanks though.

Mom:  Oh, well the Pussy Cat Folks are performing.  You’re missing quite a show! ;)