Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die?

Mom: Punkin, I’m going through the house now deciding who will get what when I die. Would you like me to send you all the mounted antlers and stuffed pheasants your dad had around here?
Me: Um……no
Mom: Why not? He was proud of those kills.
Me: Mom, I’m a vegetarian.
Mom: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting you’re one of “those people”.
Me: What do you mean “those people”?
Mom: You know, California hippie tree huggers. How’s that Obama working out for you, huh?

Political Confusion

I read an article from The Economist and I don’t know what it means. (I thought it had something to do with the American Revolution…apparently not!)

“Hence the spectacular rise of the “tea-party” movement, an alliance of ordinary people who are spooked by the huge amount of debt that is being racked up on Mr. Obama’a watch.  For Demoncrats to deride such people as “tea-baggers”, a term referring to a sexual practice of involving testicles, is political stupidity of a high order”

What is the practice????

Presidential Thermometer

Backstory: I recently moved to Russia. As you may expect, it is colder here than at home. I was telling my mother about the weather and comparing it to President Obama’s inauguration in January, where I couldn’t feel my anything below my knees after several hours on the street.

Barack Obama is your new thermometer?

I’ll send you very warm (lined with thinsulate) gloves, hats, scarves, and BTW, you NEED a long down coat, dude!


Mom’s Beer Summit

Backstory: My mom forwarded me an e-mail from white house.gov from Barack Obama. I responded: Wow mom, Barack Obama e-mailed you personally.

yes we are quite close….in fact i’ll be joining him, gates and the police officer for a beer tonight on the whitehouse lawn so i won’ t be cooking dinner

We’ll See Who Gives the Din-Din

H0w can i type? Griffin is sitting between me and the laptop (I am lying down). All purring, making funny faces, and totally disregarding my inconveniences. Now he’s all curled up and snoozing. Obviously he thinks he’s the king here, Ha! We’ll see who gives the DinDin. Hey, this is your horoscopes for today: You probably feel out of touch with who you are. To some degree you have lost yourself, and this is not a bad thing. What you’ve really lost, at least temporarily, is your ego. Your true nature shines through. How’s that? Watch tonight show, Obama is on,pretty cool i think. Some people are complaining about that, too. Geez….
Now, Griffin ignored and abandoned me and moved back to his sunken couch nest. Suit yourself, pickley guy.
Love, Mom

Mom’s Letter To Santa

I am hoping that Santa will bring me a new black Coach purse, some Chanel perfume and a framed picture of President Obama that grace the walls of our new space.  Nothing too large, just a normal 8×10 in a tasteful traditional frame.

the request is historical.  After JFK Jr was elected President almost every Irish Catholic family had a framed pic of him adorning a wall in their home.  As I have mystery genes [backstory: mom was adopted], I could be African American and for that fact alone I’d like to have a pic of my ‘bro on the wall.  Plus it will bug the sh*t out of most of my friends!!

Mom’s Voting On A Donkey

Me: I’m registered to vote!

Mom: Yahoo!  Barack & I can rest easy now

Me: I will be at the polls on the 4th, but I won’t wear any Obama shirts.

Mom: It would be a neat idea if obama supporters could figure out something to wear that is nondescript but would signify unity in a wink wink sort of way so start something like that okay?

Me: I’ll give Barack a call and see what he thinks

Mom: Great idea!  If he’s not available though, maybe you can get up with Joe

Me: I’m sure he can spare a few mins to chat with me

Mom: I would suggest that we wear hawaiian leis in honor of his grandma!  Everyone else will think there’s a big luau party that they weren’t invited to

Me: No, I think they’ll just think we look stupid.  I suggest wearing blue.

Mom: I’m thinking I’ll ride up on a donkey

Presidential Tastes

Obama’s favourite food is pie…just like you.


Mommas, Obamas, Margaritas

I thought the speech was outstanding!!!!! It actually made me cry. The stadium worked better than I thought it would. They should have held it in the Bird’s Nest and let the Chinese handle the fireworks!!! I am so relived.

I bet the Republicans are shaken!!!! (speeches sound even better while consuming one of your dad’s Margaritas!!!)

Mom OX

Love, Mom