Backstory: I came out to my mom this last summer and she is awfully curious when I’m going to be bringing home a boyfriend.

Mom: Adam Lambert on Oprah – He is pretty cool.  I would like him to be your boyfriend.  He could pay your student loans!   Tweet That!
Me: Oh my goodness mom.
Mom: :-) oh come on… you know it’s a good idea.  I could borrow his nail polish!
Me: You’re hilarious.
Mom: Cute boyfriends with cosmetics should be an advantage for me!   Work with me!
Me: I’m all for it.  Send him an email and set something up.
Mom: He should be so lucky to date you!

mom: ok, did you not LOVE the scottish woman singer that kicked condescending Simon’s A???
me: what?
mom: that was one of the sweetest stories i have ever heard. it is on u tube too
me: I think pebbles has been doing her hair
mom: no one has been doing her hair
mom: she needs glenna to do her eyebrows. but no doubt she is already getting the makeovers!
me: for a second there I thought you had started watching American Idol, I would be disappointed…
mom: oh come on, you know better.
me: well you have been watching Oprah!
mom: well, that is only because it proceeds the news, and she does have some good topics some days. someone has to tell me about menopuse
freudian typo

me: I have a date saturday :)
mom: with brian?
me: yeah bryan :) he’s so nice
mom: you know the 90 day rule?
me: 90 day rule?
mom: yeah no major physical stuff and no major baring of the soul. it was on oprah hahahah. men need time and women need to hold them off haahah
me: ok mom.
mom: some book called act like a lady and think like a man
me: ok I’ll think like a man just for you