Backstory: my parents were fighting the last time I was home right before I left.

Me: Hi Mom, I reached safely. Are you and Dad okay now?

Mom: good beta, it was good to see you. oh yea, everything is ok. we had sex last night.

Backstory: My Mom has been dating this guy named D but things have gotten to a more serious level as of late.

Mom: We are going out tomorrow night. Probably do a movie then come back here for a while. N is going into Boston and I think A is going to Allston so might have a little privacy which would be nice.
me: that will be nice
don’t be a hussy
Mom: As I already told N and will now tell you my love…..MOMMA is 56 3/4, time is marching on. Never have been a one night stand girl and never will be BUT D is not my one night stand guy. So you girls take inventory in your own “Sex Department” and let Mom worry about hers!!!!! Any questions Daughter???
me: haha nope, I think that was very well said   Glad to see you still have a good head on your shoulders.
haha that was hilarious
i love you
Mom: You thought that was funny?? Anything you would like to share with MOMMA
me: haha as you so wonderfully stated, you can take inventory in your own sex dept, and i’ll take it in mine
<3
that heart’s for you, not the boys.

I have grown up in a VERY open family, and as I’ve gotten older my mom thinks it’s ok, even healthy, to let me know (all the time) that she and my dad are still hot for each other… Which is great for them, but my mom has ZERO filter.  My dad just got a great job offer, and I was really excited… then she followed it up with this:

me: that is SO exciting!

Mom: and of course he wanted to go to bed go celebrate.  Your dad is such a horn-dog

me: ok. you just ruined that for me

Mom: I need to go to fix dinner for your sex-crazed father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Gotta love him

me: GOOD LORD

Mom: yup!!!!!
smoochers to you
my parents were horn-dogs too and I was happy for them

me: ok, i have reached my quota for discussing you and dad having sex.