Not This Week

Backstory: Lucy is my parents’ 9 week old black goldendoodle puppy.

Mom: Lucy is happily reunited with her laundered toys.
Me: things are so much better to chew on when they don’t smell like your own pee!
Mom: i wouldn’t know about that
Mom: since i neither pee nor chew on my toys
Me: well, there’s a first time for everything.
Mom: Not this week.

I Remember You Are a Camel

Watched Dr. Oz at the dentist yesterday.  He says to pee often because to hold it stretches the bladder and leads to future problems. Thought I would pass this on as I remember you are a camel.

Love u,

Where Should Dad Pee? In the Trash, Of Course

Backstory: My dad doesn’t often drink… cb is my brother.

Mom: i am so ahhhhh
Mom: your father just peed in the trash can
Me: HWAT?!
Mom: yeah cb screamed what are you doing and he said ive got to go
Me: why a TRASH CAN?!!
Mom: it was close
Me: so are BATHROOMS
Mom: but it wasnt totally empty
Mom: he said he didnt know what time it was
Me: iosfadsgidfsgjkf what does that have to do with ANYTHING
Mom: too many drinks at los cabos
Me: clearly
Me: wow
Mom: demon rum
Mom: well at least he got up and didnt do it in the chair while he sat there

Jump Rope Conundrum

Hi Honey,
Jumping rope is something I could try to do again. I used to pee when I did it but now that I’m getting older, it might be worse or better in that department. I’m not sure. Just have to find a spot in which to do it where no one will be watching and I’ll have room. I guess the garage is the only answer. hahaha

wise words via momma text

pee after sex! love you xo

Love, Mom