Lady Looks Like a Dude

Mom: i didn’t know that Lady Ga Ga, who i don’t really know anything about, is really a guy
Me: haha what??
i dont think so…
Mom: they were talking about her on the radio today and there’s some picture of her and you tell she has a **nis and i was just looking at perez hilton and he said she was rocking with her **ck hanging out
no wonder i was staying away from perez hilton
Me: mom that’s a joke. she’s not a dude
Mom: oh, well, i don’t really care one way or the other
Me: you know, you can type the word penis
its not a bad word
Mom: well, i just didn’t want to

If You Like Penis Coladas…

Backstory: I was bartending at the time.

me: i have to get ready for work now
mom: make lots of penis collattas
mom: love momy
me: you’re a freak

Things Found on Craigslist: Penises

Mom: so yesterday I am looking around craigs list because I have nothing better to do. and I end up looking at pic’s of mens penis’s. great.

Me: ahaha
i love that section

Mom: so, as I’m trying to figure out why on earth it would be so easy to see these penii uncle comes in through the sliding doors behind me.

Me: !!

Mom: I must have jumped two feet, and was trying to get the penis’s off the sreen

Me: geez mom, you’re such a perv

Mom: I don’t ‘know if he saw, so I didn’t know if I should explain! Now he probably thinks I look at porno online!

Me: well, if you have giant penises everywhere, you do!

Mom: oh brother. I have never seen penises online before!

Love, Mom